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MrsPandaSins Report | 03/27/2017 8:12 am

Hey gorgeous memba me ^^

anxiousParasite Report | 03/13/2017 4:05 pm

yum_tea I can't block her for a bit, if i do she'll blow up at me.. She recently came down on friday, and she got me a hole bunch of groceries and shampoo because I have no money to get anything, and she even got me some new sweaters, didnt even question the fact they were "guy" sweaters. she did look at me funny though.
she also managed to bring me my childhood comforter. Which i've been happily sleeping in like a caterpillar for the past few days. When she visit she gave me alot of anxiety though, so I'm still kind of recovering from it. My older brother came, and I was so happy to see him, I miss him alot. He secretly gave me 20$ to help me out, I almost broke down crying, my roommate did break down because she knows from all the stories i've told her, that living in that house is very hard, and it can cause a hole bunch of mental problems. I wish i could have Nathan just visit for a week, get him away from her. but I dont think that's going to happen till summer or something. I dont even no how to ask him since my mother is looming around the corner 24/7..

I'm so glad you enjoyed thailand. it sounds amazing. I wish I could go, i've always wanted to travel the world. My roommate/bestfriend (ayla) asked me a few months ago in the middle of my break down what i wanted to do with my life, because that was what i freaking out over, crying over my uselessness and how i wish i could do what i want, and it took me a few hours to recover from my mental breakdown, to finally say that I want to travel the world.
I know saving up money for that is going to take along time especially where i am now. but thats it, I want to go everywhere. The world is soOOOOOO big, and I've realized alot since officially being diagnosed with depression. Yes, I am sad, yes I want to die, yes I still think everything i do and say is just a waste of time but I've also come to terms with the fact, staying inside isnt going to get me anywhere fast. So I want to see the world. I want to see all these amazing cultures and experience different things. I love the world, i love earth. And I hope I can see it before my depression takes over completely. Ayla says I am strong, but I personally dont think i am..

I followed you back on tumblr, i see thy arts. tis good. yum_puddi yum_strawberry

anxiousParasite Report | 03/08/2017 3:01 pm

THailand?! WHOOA thats so coooolll!!!

uhm for me-- I moved out last summer in august, so now I'm living ina bigger city with one of my best friends, yay no more abusive mother!! but also, I havent been able to find a job. its really hard on my stupid depression/anxiety and my paranoia, oh boy, my paranoia is going through the roof. I'm constantly freaking out over the stupidest things. And even though my roommate tells me everythings okay and that i am not a bother to anyone... I know she means it but I cant help the really scary thoughts of "shes just saying that." "she doesnt mean it" "she doesnt actually want you.." Its kind of scary, y'know? I thought iwas getting better with my mental illnesses, but after being jobless for like 6 months, my depression is just comin back and dragging me into the void.
My mother still finds a way to abuse me through social media, and i know sometimes she means well, there are other times where i am scared to say anything because itll backlash onto me. SHe always changes topics so its ALLLLL about her. its so frustrating, she says that "its all just in my head and that nothing is wrong" with me. IT IS in my head. that is what MENTAL ILLNESS is.She has it, whats "thinking positive" getting her? nothing! she always says the most irratating things and I get so mad and then i crumble into this stupid pile of rocks because I cant even defend myself outloud.
I'm pretty pathetic.

I'm sorry for the depressing talk. I think its cool you still draw! I dont think i have you on tumblr, probably why I thought you stopped drawing.
if you want to, I'm http://lonelydictator.tumblr.com/ on tumbless. so if you want to follow ill follow you, I mainly just shitpost. I am super good a s**t posting, plus. VOLTRON. ahhhh its one of my new fandoms ive joined, Ayla, my roommate/bestfriend, got me into it and holy mackeral. i LOVE it. KEITHHHH is my FAVVOOURIITE.
if you havent seen it already, go watch it, Voltron: Legendary Defenders
Its on netflix, theres only 2 seasons out at the moment, the third season is coming out in september i think?

anyway. sorry i talk so much. Tell me about thailand! i mean if you want to of course. yum_puddi

anxiousParasite Report | 03/05/2017 6:40 pm

HEY I see you popped on! its been awhile since I seen you change your avatar, which is what I noticed first while I was looking at shiest. Good to see you my pizza. Can you believe how far Gaia has come since we first met? Its kind of amazing, I'm sorry I never actually talk to you. I think about you often actually. I guess I am just alittle bit to nervous to actually start a conversation because I know people have a life outside the internet
I just wanna say, I still love your art and its cool to see how its progressed, I noticed you havent been updating to devientART for a bit, is everything okay?
or have you just not posted anything there, I took like a 2 year break from posting too, I mean I drew but I didn't share my stuff because I think it's crap. I still think its crap actually.

Gaia has created even more items since we started huh. I have so many items, and some old items have went up in price, I came back a few months ago and noticed they took off zOMG, but i seen a notification that they are bringing it back! I think, maybe I am just crazy...

I also noticed they added marriage? when was that?! thats just so cool. Ive tried getting my friends to get on gaia just so i could marry them, no one wants to join. D: sad.

Anyway Ive probably rambled on enough for like the next 10 centuries.
Bye bye, matey. Have a wonderful day.
yum_puddi yum_strawberry

AnayaThePatient Report | 03/02/2017 7:14 pm

oh wow! what happened with your boyfriend and sister?
also if you want we can move to chat somewhere else? or do you prefer to chat here?

a lot happened for me too, i broke up with my ex, i just felt very inferior and abused in the relationship, got sick of it and turned my life around.
moved to England, am dating someone new, he is an amazing person and i finally feel equal

was a bit harsh at first, living alone in a new country, but i was full of motivation
my ex told me i will never make it out there alone cause im useless, lol, jokes on him! i made more money in 2 months than he made in 6

other than that i am doing a lot better, depression fading a bit, i'm finding my own happiness

i actually have friends in cali but im planning to move to washington state where my bf is now, just need a bit more money

hope you are doing good bub? i need to catch up with you!

AnayaThePatient Report | 02/27/2017 6:44 pm

I actually moved to England!
Will be trying to go to States when I have money
Wow I think a lot happened since the last time we talked, missed you!
How have you been? What were you up to in Thailand?

AnayaThePatient Report | 01/11/2017 2:32 pm

hey, I was wondering if you're still on sometimes? how is it going?

lildarklili Report | 11/27/2016 11:28 pm

I've been good >< I started my job in September! It's been weird not really being in school, but kind of nice not needing to think about hw. Cept for my online class OTL
How have you been? Did you have a good thanksgiving break?

lildarklili Report | 10/09/2016 10:18 pm

Pizzzzzaaaaaaa
I'm coming back to Gaia (kinda) and I missed my art buddy :<
How've you been?
I hope you remember me ><

lildarklili Report | 05/10/2015 10:58 pm

It's all good bro
I've been on and off again too, just log in to read announcements and such
I had to close shop for now cause I ain't got no time to color or pixel :<
School sucks butt :/
midterm tomorrow but I haven't studied yet LOL
OTL