James.. I miss you. I constantly think of you and you are never off of my mind... I wish that there was some way for me to be with you.. I haven't seen you in a while. I did see Natasha the other day though. I felt as if I was close to death then. My physical state is doing horrible. My mental state is getting there. I miss you, Natasha, and Nick... I feel like running away. Every time I'm out with no one else, I feel like running. Just running. Without stopping... I want to be with you guys so badly. I want you all back with me.. I'm lost without you.. I'm breaking down slowly and I don't know what to do.. I miss you. cry
Tomorrow is Valentine's Day... Tammy is my Valentine this year.
I wish that you were here. I bet someone would love to have you as their Valentine. But you know what's funny? I would have loved for you to be my Valentine. I mean, I love Tammy and all but I just wish you could be here for this. I wish that you were still alive so I could see your smiling face tomorrow. I wish that I could see your eyes glisten and shine. I miss that. I really miss that... Remember that one year when you were my Valentine? Heh, that was a funny day. I remember how we went to the lake and you accidentally fell in. *giggles* Those were some good times. And you pulled me in too! Hehe... That was fun though. I loved that day. I think that that was one of my most favorite days of my life. Just you and I together. That was nice... But now I only have the memories of that day... And no one to share them with. *sigh* I miss you James. I really miss you... I always wish that you are right by me like you used to be. With your arms wraped around me. With my head on your shoulder... You used to always make me feel better. You used to always make me so much happier. I remember all of those jokes that you told me in the past just to try and cheer me up. How you would always find my most ticklish spot and tickle me till I burst out laughing... You used to always make me blush when you got near. I was just always so happy to see you. Sometimes now, I visit your grave when no one is home, that way I can just get out of the house with no questions asked. I brought flowers one day. Even a CD of your favorite band. Heh, I know that you can't listen to it but I brought it anyways. I burried it a little so no one could get to it... *hugs you* I want to feel your warmth of when you were still alive...
Well, can you tell Natasha, Nick, and Christina that I said Happy Valentine's Day to them?
I love you. All of you.
It's a new year. 2010... You know what I did as soon as it hit midnight on New Year's day and I looked at the calender and it said January 1, 2010?... Well, I cried and cried.
I cried at the fact that Natasha, Nick, Christina, and you weren't here for this. It's a new decade.
I miss you. I love you.
Happy early Christmas.
There will be a present under the tree for you like always. All you have to do is come down and get it. It wont leave that spot until you come. Love you. I hope to see you Christmas day. Even Christmas Eve.
Happy late Thanksgiving.
I wish you were there. I miss you dearly. Same to Nick and Natasha.
I miss all of you. I wish that you could be here right now. It's getting hard to live without you here. Tears flow to my eyes every time I think of all of you. It's agonizing. I miss you. All of you.
James, I miss you.
I miss being by your side for things. I miss having you around. I miss talking with you. I miss hugging you. I miss everything that we used to do together. I wish that you were back here. I wish that you were still alive... I hope that you've found peace though in that better place. I hope that you're with Natasha and Nick instead of being alone... I just really miss you.
James. *sigh* I just can't do it. Well, I just don't know what to do. I just don't know anymore. I really don't know. I feel so lost and so confused. *sigh* I don't know.
I know that now it's too late to give you my love.
I know that you loved me truly.
But... you left me with sorrow and regret. I blame myself. That's who I can blame.
... I tried to get over you in just a day. I can't. It already started to tear me up inside.
It'll take me a while to forget about this. But I don't want to forget. I don't want to forget about you.
I'll live for you. I'll try to live for you. Well... love you.
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I wish that you were here. I bet someone would love to have you as their Valentine. But you know what's funny? I would have loved for you to be my Valentine. I mean, I love Tammy and all but I just wish you could be here for this. I wish that you were still alive so I could see your smiling face tomorrow. I wish that I could see your eyes glisten and shine. I miss that. I really miss that... Remember that one year when you were my Valentine? Heh, that was a funny day. I remember how we went to the lake and you accidentally fell in. *giggles* Those were some good times. And you pulled me in too! Hehe... That was fun though. I loved that day. I think that that was one of my most favorite days of my life. Just you and I together. That was nice... But now I only have the memories of that day... And no one to share them with. *sigh* I miss you James. I really miss you... I always wish that you are right by me like you used to be. With your arms wraped around me. With my head on your shoulder... You used to always make me feel better. You used to always make me so much happier. I remember all of those jokes that you told me in the past just to try and cheer me up. How you would always find my most ticklish spot and tickle me till I burst out laughing... You used to always make me blush when you got near. I was just always so happy to see you. Sometimes now, I visit your grave when no one is home, that way I can just get out of the house with no questions asked. I brought flowers one day. Even a CD of your favorite band. Heh, I know that you can't listen to it but I brought it anyways. I burried it a little so no one could get to it... *hugs you* I want to feel your warmth of when you were still alive...
Well, can you tell Natasha, Nick, and Christina that I said Happy Valentine's Day to them?
I love you. All of you.
I cried at the fact that Natasha, Nick, Christina, and you weren't here for this. It's a new decade.
I miss you. I love you.
There will be a present under the tree for you like always. All you have to do is come down and get it. It wont leave that spot until you come. Love you. I hope to see you Christmas day. Even Christmas Eve.
I wish you were there. I miss you dearly. Same to Nick and Natasha.
I miss all of you. I wish that you could be here right now. It's getting hard to live without you here. Tears flow to my eyes every time I think of all of you. It's agonizing. I miss you. All of you.
I miss being by your side for things. I miss having you around. I miss talking with you. I miss hugging you. I miss everything that we used to do together. I wish that you were back here. I wish that you were still alive... I hope that you've found peace though in that better place. I hope that you're with Natasha and Nick instead of being alone... I just really miss you.
I'll be with you soon.
Soon. I promise.
I know that you loved me truly.
But... you left me with sorrow and regret. I blame myself. That's who I can blame.
... I tried to get over you in just a day. I can't. It already started to tear me up inside.
It'll take me a while to forget about this. But I don't want to forget. I don't want to forget about you.
I'll live for you. I'll try to live for you. Well... love you.