About

Hi, at this moment..my heart is in pieces. I'm in love with the MOST amazing person..Christopher Jacob Beverly, and he hates me with a dam passion. I've never met him in person. He goes to high school, turning 17 on September 11. Heh...9-11. Wow. He's very sweet..and so cute. I love everything about him..and no, I didn't meet him on gaia..I met him, by my best friend and my b***h cousin pulling this trick on him..he found out because his ex-girlfriend Monica told him..I tried to tell him..and I tried so so very hard not to lose him...but I guess I didn't try hard enough..because I lost him. I didn't really think of it as a trick. Oh and he thinks it was a trick, by playing with his head and having my cousin amber pretend to be me. But he's SO WRONG!! This trick was to get me hooked up with a ugly dude...but chris is SEXY as hell...and I guess it doesn't matter..because I lost him, and he hates me (he thinks im fake and im my cousin trying to play with his head..) But im not. I'm everything I said I was. But he don't believe that. I love him with all my heart and soul, with evey breath I take with every move I make, He's everytime I cry..and i'll love him TILL I DIE!!!!!!!!! I know...how can I be IN love with someone I barely know...And I have no clue..my friend Lyndsy doesn't believe im in love with hiim..she thinks it's some PUNY crush..but it's not..she doesn't understand..no one does. I have cut myself over him repeatedly...My friend Megan is the ONLY ONE who understands...she says not to ever do it again. But she didn't get PISSED OFF at me like lyndsy did. She said i had NO REASON AT ALL to do that. And I was ******** stupid. UGH!!WATEVER LYNDSY. My best friend megan didn't get mad.She told me this..."It's not Lyndsy's place to be mad at you..it was your choice..not a very good one. But I understand why you've done it. You were looking for the easy way out to find another way to make up for your pain. We all done it before and it's not like Lyndsy's never done it.." see..she does understand. She give's really really good advice. And i'm so glad to have a friend like her...anyway, I miss chris every single day. More and more pain gets to me when I can't hear his sweet voice..I called him twice and hung up the phone before he could answer it..lol. He called back too. 2wice. And talked to me..well sort of. the first time he called me he talked to me for about 10 seconds..and the second time was about 15-20 seconds..Lol. He said he will talk to me later cause he was watching Tv...he never called back..a** whole...Lol. But I still love him..no matter what and no person on this earth can change that...not even him. No matter what he says to me....I WILL ALWAYS love him, with all my heart. God I wish i could talk to him now..you have no idea how bad I want to hear his voice..omg..yea. Well thats almost all I have to say. I'm running out of room..BYE!!!!