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ucaldra Report | 09/08/2017 6:08 am

hello biggrin
I am also not able to recall how we became friends.
But here we are! nice to meet you again xD
how long have you been on gaia? biggrin did you also take a break somewhen?

PengypopX Report | 09/08/2017 12:04 am

:shock::shock::shock::stare::stare::stare::stare::stare::stare::stare::stare::stare::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::scream::scream::scream::scream:I don't feel like s**t because I've been actively fighting the need to feel like s**t and it's an everlooming encroaching feeling. 


Hopefully Friday goes as planned.


At times I feel like I'm not interesting, but then if I do think I'm interesting I feel conceited and condescending. Guess that's why I take the modest approach. 





emotional blah blah blah i guess this all pretty familiar to my comments. I'll say some real stuff (?) I guess?





DANG!


I've been juggling three conversations the past 2 hours and I feel like they've all suffered as a result. 


Multitasking sucks. But at least they were all meaningful conversations. 





I've seen four movies in theaters this month and they all sucked. The best one was The Hitman's Bodyguard because it was actually kinda funny. It was an action movie.


Last Tuesday I saw War of the Planet of the Apes. DIDNT LIKE. :scream::scream::scream::scream::scream::scream::scream:





:scream::scream::scream::scream::scream::scream::scream::scream::scream::scream::scream::scream::scream::scream::scream::scream::scream::scream::scream::scream:


:scream::scream::scream::scream::scream::scream::scream::scream::scream::scream::scream::scream::scream::scream::scream::scream::scream::scream::scream::scream::scream::scream::scream::scream:





i'm gonna type one of those :scream::scream::scream::scream:i hope :scream::scream::scream::scream: messages my hope does NOTHING I SWEAR NOTHING! :scream::scream::scream::scream:





HOPEFULLY THE RANDOM CONDITIONS OF LIFE, CHEMICAL PATHWAYS, AND ENVIRONMENTAL (INTENTIONAL TYPO?) PROBLEMS FAVOR YOU IN WAYS THAT MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD. 


For me personally, bad or good, I just don't want this sick inbetween that's plagued me my entire life. Give me that RAW bad dude, that's the stuff I live for the, the DOLDRUMS. :scream::scream::scream::scream::scream::scream::scream::scream::scream::scream::scream::scream::scream:





welll i didnt reread your message so i dont know the stuff to reply to but i figure new material reinvigorates stuff, i'm pretty sure it said youre doin alright. maybe not. oh ya i remember, life is but a dream within a dream. i had some weird dreams too. one of them had jared calling me, then I saw I missed a call from him when i woke up. then i called him. ok. 





i think had some other stuff. im sure youve been in them, i forget. i dont really tell people them much anymore. maybe i consider them insignificant. oooh look at me lowercase, wow this is such a slack way of typing you know this site is the reason i converted to this lil grubby way of typing. remember when i was adamant about proper grammar on this site, i miss my naivety. all i have is bitter. AND I DONT EVEN LIKE COFFEE :rofl::rofl::rofl:





I keep flipping





I bet this is going to look so messy im gonna love it, i have been shift entering a lot though. i wonder over the course of my life that's helped at all. 


i like this emote :stare::stare::stare:





im gonna be tired tomorrow :gonk:


kill!





:shock::shock:





good thing you didnt comment me 4-5 years ago, man i was terrified of replying back then. now i just do it wow. just like that. i must of sounded like an idiot back then with my naivety. :emo::emo::emo::emo:





ok well, if i get to coherent replies i'll let you know. i feel pretty grounded, always have. maybe that's why I love sleeping so much, only form of mental escapism I have. Being so sane it hurts, help me. Sanity NotLikeThis. See isn't that conceited. 





Maybe my superpower is the abundance of sanity, maybe that's why everyone thinks I'm weird. SO SANE. 0% INSANE. wow isn't that an interesting though. I wish. ... not really. 





ok ill cya maybe ill talk to you on skype sunday or somethin glad to see you still leave comments. this site sucks btw but it's still awesome when i can comment people and it's not two lines and two wo

PengypopX Report | 09/07/2017 10:19 pm

xd

Whatever am i Report | 09/07/2017 3:26 am

Im a random person and im reading what you are saying with pengypop.




Well not really, im lazy

PengypopX Report | 08/09/2017 6:13 pm

in my case dreams > reality.
I felt relatively fine this whole summer, but as soon as I went back for training at the bookstore I drove home somewhat anxious.
The little things people do make me feel that way.
It's like if I mess up, I murdered their children and shot them in the back, I don't understand why people cannot just be more relaxed with mistakes.
Everything is so high-strung and stressful out there, also I got a pain in the back of my neck when we looked at the manual from looking down so much. Gave me nostalgia of school.
Bleh.

I really like sleeping and dreams, but I don't really have bad experiences. I don't tell people that too often because jinxing is a thing, but whatever. rolleyes
Only bad experiences is the once in a 5-10 year period I experience sleep paralysis. That kinda sucks.
A common thing in my dreams is my cars brakes not working, but last one I had I was able to pump them pretty hard to get them to work. It gets me more pissed than anything, because I need to stop the car sometimes yknow.
Anyway, guess it's a common dream enough dream to have meaning on the internet so yeah. It's not like the entire dream is centered around that, but maybe 1/6th of the movie has a segment dedicated to it.

But uh, yeah, I will comment again, so that a bunch of random weird people can read what we both have to say, but most importantly, you can read what I say! blaugh

PengypopX Report | 07/24/2017 11:01 pm

comment FeelsBadMan
comment empty comment comment comment gonk gonk gonk gonk crying crying crying

PengypopX Report | 06/29/2017 9:02 pm

ninja

PengypopX Report | 06/29/2017 9:01 pm

totally black because it broke and i decided to erase it all 3nodding

hiya!
nice seeing you around, it's very desolate without you on here.

PengypopX Report | 01/15/2017 10:51 pm

Thanks!

PengypopX Report | 08/05/2016 2:04 am

Hey Janessa.
Update on the living situation. Actually been feeling a bit better then from the past 3 days.
Unfortunately I can't go to sleep and I'm up at 2 AM as a result, but this ravioli tastes p good.

I have an interview to sell Nurse's scrubs at some boutique near my house. Everyone told me the CutCo thing was stupid so I didn't do it. I also researched online. The only thing made me feel a little uneasy, but I am glad the way things turned out.
Eh........
Job stuff is boring. I will go talk about something else (I had like a 8 minute hiatus between that eh and the last thing wrote).

It would make sense that I am very disassociative seeing as I have a strong predisposition towards playing video games. It kind of offers me an "escape" where I can not be me for awhile. But I'm sure a lot of humans experience that want, I guess it's just stronger in me and you? I could definitely understand if I do have it. On some days, I am very okay with how I am, on others I am like scribbled lines on a white piece of paper moving in a rapidly compact chaotic bundle.

Another thing!
I got this Ticket to Ride copy and no one play it with. ):

So like, I haven't meditated in 4-5 days. I only did it like three times I think. That being said, the guy's voice can be a bit silly. He is a bit too ASMR for me, but I like the idea so I kind of just stomach it. I figure that's part of the "YOUR SELF DOES NOT EXIST" Buddhist principle that Buddha would want. Kakak. Ya.
Actually a lot in my life I lose motivation to do stuff. I once had a tarot reading and I remember getting O THE FOOL. Dang.

Fortunately, Alexis has seemed to have gotten on to a pretty good schedule. I am very proud of her. She has been working out and eating healthy and all that jazz. Meanwhile, I'm up at 5 AM playing video games and sleeping in until 2 PM. NotLikeThis.

Feelings are a bit inconvenient. I do not remember the last time I cried. Once I did a little during an anime episode but it was pretty much just burning eyes and no water.
Did I establish the feelings things last post? Probably. I figure some grubs might look at profile comments and go "OH WOW LOOK LET ME READ ALL THIS CUZ HAHAH IM INTERESTED" but I am not going to give them the satisfaction of private messaging because profile comments are clearly superior, screw you people. Also screw the people who think they are too good to reply to profile comments. >_>
I guess I am guilty, but I get back 98% of the time I swear!

I took a shower on the coldest setting today and I was pretty proud of that.
I also learned that if I feel like crap, laughing at the dogs kind of cures it. Laughter seems to be the most convenient feeling and it doesn't really have any strings attached unless if you are with old fogies who think you are laughing and being rude or something stupid. I can see why I always seek comedy because it feels really good to laugh. -cue comfortably numb music-
Or you could cue that one Mary Poppins song "I Love to Laugh" but I never really even watched that movie that much, I don't think I really liked it all too terribly.

Aight. I'm out of brain fuel. I think.
I hope this reply is okay, my inner mind knows you will think it's okay, but there is always the apprehensive part of me. I read on Quora from this guy who sounded like a crackpot crazy eastern medicine dude that buddhists realize we have two sides (yin and yang) and it's good to listen to the apprehensive unmotivated side once in awhile instead of just loving the "MOTIVATED" guy. Learning this side can prove very useful and et cetera et cetera blah blah.
Not being able to get out of bed from apathy, depression, all that bad mental voodoo (for some people), well. Maybe I can appreciate the good stuff more, except it doesn't work like that at all. emotion_dowant

Alright peace out Janessa
gaia thinks your name is misspelled
THANK YOU FOR THE REPLY