Hail to the Thief, the Almighty God of Yer Mom

Hail to the Thief's avatar

Last Login: 11/11/2015 6:30 pm

Registered: 03/16/2004

Gender: Male

Location: UK/Ethiopia. At the same time.

Birthday: 10/13/1989

Occupation: Collecting roadkill for badger burgers with rotton sauce.

Personal Website

Ways to enable me to stalk you more easily:

  • Add to Friends
  • Send Message
  • Trade Items

Things I have that I won't share because I hate you:

Things you should know about me before I kill you:

Favorite Movies/Anime

Favorite TV Shows

Favorite Reads

Favorite Music/Bands


Things you should give me for free because I am entitled to them:

Where you can purchase items that benefit you, and also fund my research on your face:


Please stop sending me trade and haggle PMs. I consider it begging. I don't want to suffer because you don't have enough money to buy things that cost a lot. You wouldn't go to Wal-Mart with two chickens and a donkey and try to barter, or take $2 to buy $4 of groceries. They would be 'mean', and tell you no. Well, like Wal-Mart, I am big, mean, and greedy. Prices are firm, period, the end.


View Store

The Shag Wagon:

Meet-up and Rally


******** ******** ******** ******** ******** ******** s**t ********:

I am Thom. I am from Ethiopia and the UK -- at the same time. That's right, I can be in two places at once.

I enjoy things like music, reading, Runescape, your soul, roadkill, cute baby animals, brain surgery, rat salad, The Antichrist, sushi, Asian Culture, little refrigerators, black rubber-bands, Dimethyltryptamine, the cultural study of races of The Third Planet of Zarron and the Zarronese snow-eating wolves, the cardboard box that I live in, soybeans, hippies, the 60's, nice people, LSD, and long walks on the beach.

My dislikes are illiterate people, skanks, heroin, cilantro, catfish people, parties, middle school, spiders, night/blood elves, and giant wolves that eat snow.

Q&A Section:

"Hai Thom. If u h8 spydrs & 0ther arachn1ds so much, why u keepin all thos tarantulas & sc0rpions?"

"Because I had intercourse with your mother last night, and she begged for more."

"Hai Thom. Why r u really a gurl fr0m VA?"

"Shut up, you don't know that. <_<"

"Hai Thom. Why iz ur pag3 so weerd?"

"It's my fort built upon years of inside jokes. You are not allowed in my fort. You can't trick me with a wooden horse, even though I'd love one."

Entertainment for you:

View Journal

Hail_to_the_thief's Journal

A journal of my thoughts.

A place for people to lavish me with much deserved compliments about my various victories, like taking over the galaxy:

View All Comments

Grey Moonfang IV Report | 01/27/2012 1:28 am
Grey Moonfang IV
...that was significantly more then I needed to know...you should try the veal though. *coughs* Anyway I never take baths, I take showers...and the bathroom lacks any windows and I lock the door, and the entire room is so barren it would be impossible to hide a camera...so who the heck have you been watching?
Grey Moonfang IV Report | 01/27/2012 12:31 am
Grey Moonfang IV
That is all kinds of creepy...wouldn't you rather love this bagel?
Grey Moonfang IV Report | 01/23/2012 11:42 pm
Grey Moonfang IV
Fairwell peasant.
Grey Moonfang IV Report | 08/18/2011 11:05 pm
Grey Moonfang IV
Whats so good about it. stare
Mr Katamari Damacy Report | 07/24/2011 1:35 pm
Mr Katamari Damacy
Hey, as long as you have your own place, right?
Are you close to finding one yet?
What kind of pets do you have now?

I joined the Air Force last November so I've been living in San Antonio, Texas since then.
I tried to eat a 3 pound cinnamon roll yesterday, only got about half way through it though, it was hard.
Grey Moonfang IV Report | 07/24/2011 2:27 am
Grey Moonfang IV
Grey Moonfang IV Report | 07/24/2011 2:22 am
Grey Moonfang IV
Not even a single scrap of that would help in any way...

That aside, goodnight.
Grey Moonfang IV Report | 07/24/2011 2:13 am
Grey Moonfang IV
Grey Moonfang IV Report | 07/24/2011 2:10 am
Grey Moonfang IV
Might I assume you posted that comment twice by mistake?
Grey Moonfang IV Report | 07/24/2011 2:07 am
Grey Moonfang IV
I pick option #3.

Stuff you get to see when I post my infinate wisdom:

User Image - Blocked by "Display Image" Settings. Click to show.User Image - Blocked by "Display Image" Settings. Click to show.


People who probably got scared by this page:

Wisdom I bestow on others:

Posts per Day: 0.18

Total Posts: 1348

Latest Posts

Songs with sumbliminal messages about bowing down to me:

Unable to identify Vimeo video URL.

My lair of doom and gloom and LSD:

Visit My House

Icarus Bonekind

I am your sex slave, Thom~! <333