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HOW TO ANNOY ITACHI
1. Keep Repeating The Phrase ' You lack Hatred'
2. Every morning tell him to take his happy pills.
3. Always try to persuade him to taken anger management classes to get rid of his 'Negative Energy'
4. Run around like a wild maniac.
5. Run around like a wild maniac with Deidara.
6.(Whether female or male) Self proclaim yourself to be his one true love.
7.Put eyeliner on him when he sleeps and when he finds in tell him he looks 'Smexy'
8.Scratch a smiley face on his forehead protector.
9. Buy an annoying puppy for Itachi; Call him Sasuke.
10.Get Sasori to make an 'Itachi' puppet
11.Play with the puppet in front of him.
12.Tell him that he 'Missed a spot' when referring to Itachi leaving Sasuke alive.
13.Sing 'Your A Mean One, Mr Grinch' whenever in Itachi's presence;
'I wouldn't touch you, with a
thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole.
You're a vile one, Mr. Grinch.
You have termites in your smile.
You have all the tender sweetness
Of a seasick crocodile.
14.Hum 'Darth Vaders' theme song whenever he enters a room.
15. Call him 'Itachi-kun'
16.Cut off all his ponytail and tell him his old 'do' was 'SO last century.'
17. Buy him a stress ball
18. Tell him you think Sasuke is hotter than him (Even if you don't)
19. Whack him in the arm and say 'mosquito' - every few minutes.
20. Ask him if him and Kisame are dating
21.When he says no or is about to kill you show him itachiXkisame
22.When he's sleeping paint his nails a light pink and neon orange
23.shave his head
24.replace his clothes with Sakuras
25.Get the fan girls
26. Tell him Sasukes going to kick his a** easily one day
27.Give him Glasses
Bestest friend in the whole wide world!
Other good friends
These rules are to be followed by all members. Failure to do so will be punished severly by the leader. All Akatsukis' must agree to the following:
1. The leader shall never be referred to as "Hey you!"
2. Sasori is NOT “Pinoccio.”
3. Art is a bang. Do not contradict this statement.
4. There is nothing strange about Deidara saying “un.”
5. Do not start saying “Un” yourself.
6. Kisame is blue. This does not justify singing “Eiffel65” songs in his presence. Unless you can't help yourself in that case call him "Fishy" then sing. If done, prepaired to have your legs cut off.
7. Zetsu is allowed to contradict himself as much as he wants to.
8. No prank phone calls to Otogakure. As amusing as it is to annoy Orochimaru, the long distance bills make it detrimental to our fund-raising. In-coming calls are ok.
9. No eating Muffins. EVER. Cake is ok.
10. No “Fish are friends not food” jokes to Kisame. Behind his is ok.
11. No humming of the “Jaws” theme, either. Again, behind his back is ok.
12. No comparing our plans to that of “Pinky and the Brain.”
13. Do not sing “Don't Feed the Plants” around Zetsu.
14. The “Barbie girl song” is banned from the headquarters.
15. Tobi is fair game for any teasing, taunting, or abuse. Just make sure when he goes emo, to stop.
16. No suicide attempts (THIS MEANS YOU, DEIDARA AND LEADER!)
17. Deidara’s clay is not a plaything.
18. What happens at poker night, stays at poker night.
19. Keeps sake and suger away from Kisame and Tobi at all costs.
20. Bathe regularly.
21. Nothing said while drunk should be taken seriously.
22. Nothing said while drunk should be repeated.
23. Kakuzu is not “ Mr. Monopoly” or “Scrooge,” and should not be referred to as such.
24. No ordering Pizza to the hideout.
25. You are in no way “Bringing sexy back.”
26. We will conquer all small villages, except for Crazy no sato. Their leader baked our leader cookies. (They were yummy)
27. Marshmallows are evil. PURE EVIL.
28. Micheal Jackson does resemble Orochimaru. It is right to imply that he does.
29. Hidan does indeed resemble a porcelain doll. But please refrain from pointing that out. For safety reasons.
30. Do not, under any circumstances, remove Tobi's mask without permission
31. No streaking. (I’m talking to YOU, Kisame`.)
32. DeiXSaso fanfiction is strictly prohibited.
33. DeiXTobi fanfiction is also prohibited.
34. Itachi is not to be referred to as an “Emo kid.” (Even if he is)
35. Or an “Angst monkey” (This is there cause monkeys are cute)
36. Deidara is not to be referred to as anybody’s “b***h”
37. You are not “Luke” nor am I your father.
38. The “I’m not wearing underwear” song is banned.
39. We are not “Akatsukilicious”
40. Hidan is NOT “Draco Malfoy.”
41. Do not sell Sasori’s puppets over “Ebay”
42. Even if “It’s what he would have wanted” (Unless your an upset Tobi looking to get back at him)
43. You are NOT “The Real Slim Shady”
44. No tackle-glomping anyone smaller than you are, for safety reasons.
45. Though funny, do not tell Tobi that he is “The weakest link, goodbye.”
46. “My little pony” does not belong in the Akatsuki hideout.
47. No singing, or dancing to the “Pepto Bismol” song.
48. “Save a horse, Ride a weasel” is NOT funny. (Well it is but if you really want to get Itachi say chipmunks kick weasel a** on American Idiol)
49. No one cares if you “know where Waldo is.”
50. There will be absolutely NO “going commando” under the Akatsuki cloak. ( This means YOU, Hidan)
51. DO NOT f**k UP
52. Dont piss Itachi off at least if you dont want to die. (Or any other Akatsuki member for that matter, except Tobi. 'Cause Tobi is a good boy. *thumbs up*)
53. If you sing "If your happy and you know it, clap your hands" your dead. (It's degrading to weasels and fish who dont have hands. It also realyl pisses leader off)
54.If you ever ever say "Weasel Boy" or "Uchiha the Weasel Guy", your dead.(only leader can call him that. Its his thing.)
55. (Added by Tobi) Always remember to bake Tobi cookies! (Presents are always welcomed by Tobi)
56. Tobi will break any and all rules set up by the Akatsuki, by accedient AND on purpose.
57. Don't try to feed Zetsu. (He bites!)
58. Don't tick off any of the Akatsuki. They will kill you in your sleep. (Unless your Tobi of course, then it's just funny.)
59. All Akatsuki members must love Tobi or they will be constantly glomped and or tackled or un-loved.
Follow these regulations carefully, and you will be able to fit into this organization. Please dispose of this message carefully, so that it cannot be apprehended by enemies. (Burning, eating, etc.) Now, you’ve completed your first lesson of what it means to be an Akatsuki. Congratulations, and good luck. (If you are a member please post on your profile)
-Uchiha Itachi (And Tobi too!)