About

Heeeeeeyyy sweetieess!!
Call me Ocelot or E.T., cuz' I won't answer to anything else. I'm random, moody, and unpredictable. My age, phone #, religion, school, and adress are all classified, but I will tell you this. I'm STRAIGHT, and I'm BLACK. Let's leave it at that, shall we?
I absolutely love internet memes. If it makes me laugh, its on my list. I also love manga, anime, j-pop, movies, skelanimals, aliens, jellyfish, sweet foods, sleeping, eating, cats, astronomy, astrology, the western zodiac, the native american zodiac, snakes, bears, Homestuck, Doctor Who, good movies, good books, and gaming on my wii. If you wanna talk to me, then talk. I don't bite. Seriously. Sure, I'm not always the most...gentle person...
*cough*brutallyhonestdeadpansnarker*cough*
...but I do listen.
And that will be all.

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FAKE a** AND REAL FRIENDS-

FAKE a** FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr/Mrs.
REAL FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD/MOM.

FAKE a** FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.
REAL FRIENDS: Will sit next to you saying “Damn … we ******** up … but that s**t was fun!”

FAKE a** FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
REAL FRIENDS: Won't tell anyone else you cry... just laugh about it when you're not down anymore.

FAKE a** FRIENDS: Try to half-a** comfort you when you feel down.
REAL FRIENDS: Grab you by the shoulders, shake you, and say "b***h, snap out of it!"

FAKE a** FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
REAL FRIENDS: Keep your s**t so long they forget its yours.

FAKE a** FRIENDS: Always keep your stuff they borrowed in perfect condition.
REAL FRIENDS: Lose your s**t and tell you, "My bad ... here's a tissue."

FAKE a** FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink because they think it's polite.
REAL FRIENDS: Raise an eyebrow and say "b***h, I'll eat what I want" and are the reason you never have food.

FAKE a** FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Can write a very embarrassing book about you, with direct quotes from you.

FAKE a** FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
REAL FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds a** that left you.

FAKE a** FRIENDS: Will knock on your front door.
REAL FRIENDS: Walk right in and say “I’M HOME!”

FAKE a** FRIENDS: Ask you what you number is.
REAL FRIENDS: Remind you what you number is when you forget.

FAKE a** FRIENDS: Are for awhile.
REAL FRIENDS: Are for life.

FAKE a** FRIENDS: Have to be reminded not to tell.
REAL FRIENDS: Would willingly go skinny-dipping in a tank of acid before they even consider telling.

FAKE a** FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you’ve had enough.
REAL FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say “b***h, drink the rest of that, you know we don’t waste.”

FAKE a** FRIENDS: Will offer to pay when you have a drink.
REAL FRIENDS: Will laugh and say "Pay my a**! You'll pay for mine, b***h!"

FAKE a** FRIENDS: Don't let friends drive drunk.
REAL FRIENDS: Don't let friends drive drunk alone.

FAKE a** FRIENDS: Will apologize when you forget lunch money and say that they don't have any left.
REAL FRIENDS: Will say "Sucks for you" and finally cave after a few hours and then say "You owe me for this, you fatass."

FAKE a** FRIENDS: Will smile and say "Don't worry about me" when they forget their lunch money, even if you didn't offer to pay.
REAL FRIENDS: Will say "b***h, I'm a fatass and I'm starving, now buy me some damn food."

FAKE a** FRIENDS: Will automatically tell you you're beautiful when you ask if something makes you look fat.
REAL FRIENDS: Will say "Well no s**t, sherlock."

FAKE a** FRIENDS: Would tell you not to get a face-lift because you already look perfect.
REAL FRIENDS: Would say "Face-lift? I don't think a fork-lift would help."

FAKE a** FRIENDS: Tell you your zits aren't noticeable.
REAL FRIENDS: Say "Damn, girl! That thing is HUGE!!"

FAKE a** FRIENDS: Laugh with you.
REAL FRIENDS: Laugh at you.

FAKE a** FRIENDS: Laugh at all your jokes.
REAL FRIENDS: Tell you your jokes suck.

FAKE a** FRIENDS: Congratulate you when you get good grades.
REAL FRIENDS: Say "Jeez, you nerd. If you were in stupid classes like me, we'd see each other more."

FAKE a** FRIENDS: Encourage you not to skip school.
REAL FRIENDS: Photoshop one of their old doctor's notes and use it to spring you from school.

FAKE a** FRIENDS: Will talk s**t to the person who talks s**t about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Will knock them the ******** out!

FAKE a** FRIENDS: Say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world.
REAL FRIENDS: Not only kick everything out of their schedule to listen to what's wrong, but help come up with vindictive plans to make you feel a whole lot better!

FAKE a** FRIENDS: Say sorry when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours.
REAL FRIENDS: Come right over and hang out with you, until you either fall asleep, or kick them out.

FAKE a** FRIENDS: Will glare at the guy who dumps you and say "Forget him. You're too good for him."
REAL FRIENDS: Kick the guy's a** and threaten to castrate him with a spork if he comes within five miles of you.

FAKE a** FRIENDS: Crush on your older brother whom you absolutely despise.
REAL FRIENDS: Hate you older brother as much as you do and give him the nick-name "f*****t".

FAKE a** FRIENDS: Will ignore this.
REAL FRIENDS: Will repost it.

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95% of teens would cry if they saw Miley Cyrus standing on the edge of a sky scraper. Copy and paste if u are the 5% yelling, "JUMP BI**H JUMP!!"