You are my love, my life, and my panties. I just ate a bunch of ravioli and now I feel kinda sick. I wish you were here, I bet you've got some Pepto Bismal. Mmm, Pepto. How come it looks like it'll taste really good, but then tastes awful? I thought it would taste like bubble gum (which, admittedly, sucks as a flavor) or like...strawberries, or that one time I had strep throat and took some pink medicine, but then it was all "Ew, this s**t sucks". I still want some, though. Where was I? Oh, right, right.
Anyway, you're my love, my life, my panties, and that thing I did that time in the alley behind your dorm room. Remember? Yeah...yeah...I guess you don't. You were pretty drugged up. I swear, I had no idea that putting the rat poison in that cake I made you would make you go into a coma, I just thought it would pass you out long enough to steal your french fries.
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