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Good day, sirs and madames. I am Captain McBeard, and I would introduce my beard, but it does not wish to be introduced. I follow my beard's wishes, so it shall remain anonymous. I find it strange that everyone calls me "Captain" McBeard, when simply "Sir" or "Mister" McBeard would suffice. Or, if one is feeling particularly bold, they may address my beard: "McBeard's Beard". I warn you, however, my beard does not take kindly to intrusion, especially when it is sleeping (which happens to be all the time). If you anger my beard, then it will violate your every orifice and then eat the man-baby that you will inevitably become impregnated with. However, if you are a man and you anger my beard, it will just kill you and use your manhood to fuel its increasing manliness.
I hope you understand my message. If you leave my beard alone, it shall do the same for you. Good day, and have a superb life.
-puffs on pipe-
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dramallama
4laugh
redface
redface
redface
-Keeps touching-