Birthday: 09/17
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Asking Alexandria <3 :p
Black Veil Brides
Suicide Silence <3 :0
Slipknot
Avenged Sevenfold
Disturbed
Straight Line Stitch
Eatmewhileimhot
Korn
My Top Favorite Bands :p <3
Attack! Attack!
Blood On The Dance Floor
Brokencyde
Devil Wears Prada
The ppl i love the most ^^
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I have had the worst amount of Pain in my life ..I cannot understand why at all. Nothing is ever alright for me for so long. The worst Pain I’ve ever had is where it always hurts the most, your heart. I’ve been feeling this for some time now.. it’s after a dream I had. The dream was not really what I wanted to see at all, but at the same time I felt like I had to see it. Which to me doesn’t really make much sense.. probably to whoever gets to read this it doesn’t really make much sense either ha. Know one can really understand me.. but I mean it is hard to understand someone, and the way they feel. I have been having so much thought it has been breaking me, my happy side is almost shattered. Even with all of these feelings, I keep them inside so I don’t upset my beautiful girl friend Jenna. As long as she is happy I’m happy and that’s all that matters, I really do love her (and always). I’m being nice to others, and I’m different from other guys ( which is nice because my girl friend loves me for that ha). There is know real way to explain myself in person to anyone like this so the best I can do is write it all down. I don’t know how long this feeling will last.. and I don’t want it to be forever. Every time I think about the feeling I have right now .. it makes me think of the past, all of the friends that I used to have I’m pretty sure don’t remember me anymore. I remember moving, waving goodbye.. but in my head I said “Know one would miss me.” Finally here I can actually get attached to my friends and have a relationship. True pain is when it reaches your heart, it’s even worse when you don’t know why.. so right now I’m confused. I wonder if my life even matters anymore.. sure I know I shouldn’t be thinking like this, but I just couldn’t help it. This really isn’t the time to be depressed thou so I always say I’m ok when I’m depressed, I don’t want anyone to worry about me I mean.. we all have our problems right? Maybe I need to solve this one on my own(like always). It seems I already know the answer to the questions I have, it was kind of hard it took me a week( until Friday). I actually don’t know if I’m ok or not.. typing it out really makes me feel better, I’m sure my girl friend already knew how I felt probably, but I never wanted to tell her(reading back, you should know why). I promised I would tell her anything at all if it was keeping me down, but I seriously couldn’t tell her all of this.. I just couldn’t do it. She understood that. It’s nothing to hate yourself over something like this, but I do it anyway.. it never changes. I also love my friends, I couldn’t ask for better people in my life. They might be stupid at times, but can make things so fun ha, my happy side was always like that. Anyway I’m sure your tired of reading this.. so whoever is, I’m sorry you had to listen to this. To me, I just think this was Pathetic.. maybe I just need to relax.. sooner or later they will just be memories anyway.. What’s more important to me then anything right now is my GF so I will forget about it. That is my answer.
<Bye> At least now I finally understand