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Welcome to the HEADQUARTERS of the Anti-Herring League, the LAST BASTION of the FISH-FREE!

Herring. Most people would equate the word with thoughts of bad brittish cooking and good brittish commedy. This is only part of the truth...

I was amazed to find myself, an un-obtrusive, upstanding gaia citizen, rudely awakened one morning to the sound of wet flolloping at the foot of my bed. Thinking it nothing more than a couple of pieces of soggy refuse flapping in the constant draft of my shack, I paid the noise no heed and drifted back to sleep. It was only when the scent of rotting fish and gasoline assaulted my nose that I realized something was amiss.

I lept from beneath the tattered remains of last week's "Gaia This Week" (which, by the way, has a delightful recipe for Momo-cider in the Home and Garden section) to find not one, but THREE slimy denizens of the sea, HERRINGS! They were in the process of attempting to light a strike-anywhere match. Searching the room more fully, I noted the fact that there were no less than FIVE seemingly empty petrol canisters laying about various parts of my residence.

Piecing two and two together, I managed to get five. Upon relizing that my math was off, I went to grab a pad of paper. At this point, I realized that my only pen was sadly without ink and had to resort to counting it out on my fingers. As I silently reprimanded myself for not having paid attention in first-grade math class, my attention was once again rudely called to the three Herring invaders and their attempts at match ignition. The shock of having realized that two and two are acutally four, added to the baffling fact that there were three water-breathing beings attempting to burn down my shack with me in it, compounded by the gasoline fumes caused me to pause for a moment or two. In those precious moments, moments where a terrible tragedy could have been avoided, the slime-covered match finally ignited...

Needless to say, I lost everything that day. I even lost the colour of my hair. My only bit of luck that day was the fact that the Herring arsonists mis-calculated the ammount of gasoline required to burn down a small hut and turned themselves into crunchy (but still entirely tasty) strips of fish-jerky.

I do not tell my tale for sympathy. I do not tell my tale to evoke pity and invite users to donate all their Gaian possessions. I write this as a warning: Herrings have invaded! They have infiltrated literally every facet of Gaian civilization. From the lowly newbs to the highest of the omnipresent, omnipitent beings referred to as "ADMINS," the infiltration is nearly universal.

Need proof? The endless pages of "expired" items in the marketplace? The Herrings have taken those items and are re-selling them to fund their efforts at world-domination. Still not convinced? Ever had an item disappear from your inventory? THEY took it! Ever had trouble logging in to Gaia? THEY were accessing your account, looking for materials they consider "sedimentary" or "tartarish" and destroying them. Ever lost in the arena? That's because the HERRINGS WERE VOTING AGAINST YOU!

Still not convinced? Below you will find even more damning evidence of the imminent subversion and domination of Gaia by the Herring race!