ok i guess i'm just gonna have to send everyone this so....... i'll just save this message and copy and paste it, yeah i've failed suicide, i actualy tried the day before i did this things have got really bad, anyway there's alot you don't know about me things have been really messed up and i just can';t deal with it anymore, i'm tired of just trying to end it and still living through it, when i did it 2 days ago NOW there was blood everywhere all over the walls dripping on the floor i bled for hours i was so sure i was gonna be dead and i was actualy glad, i'm sorry but i have to keep on trying i don't have a choice, in one more day i'm getting a review with about 4 doctors my mum is against me she's gonna say i'm a danger to myself and otherts because i screwed up and hurt her before i did it, things are just complicated, you're a really good friend and i appreciate you just........ you know being there even though you're not here i'm sorry things have to be this way, if i somehow live through this i'm gonna be sectioned in a hospital for a long long time, i can't let it happen, my worst nightmare is trying to die and not dying, like not being able to wake up from a nightmare, but i'ts pathetic trying to live on, just don't do anything stupid if i'm not dead then it's against my will and i'll talk to you some other time, and don't be upset either because i'm not worth that i shoulden't of even told anyone, i actualy moped up all the blood after doing it it was disgusting that i didn't die i'm so annoyed nothing i can do can ever change anything, but atleast i can try, i've tried to live my whole life, and now i'm trying to die, everyone dies, i just need to do it a little sooner
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