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May god save my soul, if it is right that he do so.

wake me up, i dream of heart and hand going in one open land

i feel you there, i hear your breathe

but i cant find you....oh gawd i hurt so bad..i am missing something...

i dont understand, i have good things in my life...so why am i in so much misery and pain, why am i so ******** lost.

shoot me to salvation cause i am going to burn this down....i am going to tear my way to 7th and altlas, where i learn everything that was once mine to begin with

mine....i guess that is a lie, a cry, some death, kill a drill you fool

A kiss was all it was, right,
(it shouldn't be a just)
So why wont all this hurt just go away, what do i have to do?
(what has gone wrong, why no words)
Why cant his hurt just be threw
(your own fault)
Why cant this kiss be a lie, why was it true.
(this hurts more then you will ever imagine)
I am going on ahead to something I know I will fail
(then release me from your game)

a god is a man that can will anyhing is it not, so why grief at all, i know all would be false, but i am sure a being that omni, can occupy its own mind tell something proves....willing

I am but a man, not immortal, not indestructible, not Omnipotent

But i am King of mine and mine alone.

there is no point to be made here, no meaning, just words that drowned in a mind that is trying to stay a float.

god i am stuck in a world of strange, it was pain, and i understand that now, but this is new and odd, and....it feels so awful to wake up and ask..what now?

My name is Marcus Alm

My father, so i am told, was scared of losing his freedom.

His father was scared of losing a race

and his father was scared or change

to this was another father that is scared of ideas

and even older father is terrified that there is more then meets his own eyes

This father of old, he was fighting the "good" fight in the name of a belief that was a cover to his lack of understanding

The wars of this old mans day were of water and land, nothing more, nothing less


The man that started this all, was scared of not eating or living the next day

to be honest though, i am scared too, i am scared that i am going to die for a reason i dont believe or even understand.

No one could ever know the things i know upon my waiting lips

Hey man, i will drink to that

I have not been one for flying a kite of stringed dreams and broken ideas

Hey man, i have had more

Come one sunny day, i will see rain from these tears i hold dear

Ahmen, i will drink to that

Embrace me you foolish girl, for i dont need you, or so i was told

Hey man, i have been looking for the same thing

The hour glass is failing on my time and time again is not made of sand

Hey man, i think we are the same

How does it feel,love, to have a world at your finger tips, that is made up of a shattered man? a shattered and lost idea of the perfect life..to live a dream that children wish and hope, i live up to what so little can hope to have?

What is like to be so one sided that you cant see what once was, you only see and hear what is..a dying shell of a man you once knew.

Why did you take what i gave freely? was it a taunt or a cry, was it this wish a man can wish to think is true, that hole you see, its a man's curse, chewing his soul out, chewing his mind apart

a split and blooded stump is all we have, a mass of flesh is all i seem to be to you, and you my angel, have been split right in two.
for in one eye i am the option on hope and wonder that you yearn for, but sadly i am not
and this other eye that gazes threw the man and into the dream, and takes what is willed and offers nothing in return.

i ask for little, i get nothing,
i ask for the world, i get tears that are not mine
i asked for death once, and i was left alone
i asked for help more then once, and i hurt those that didnt need this addition
i asked for a answer, and two was given, and heard by me,

"what can i do"
and
"i dont know"

one sounds so inviting and warm that is seems almost alien...i am but this man, and i wish for command on a subject, what can i do?
a decision is not made and that is the pain i put forth, on a waiting body and a lifeless soul, seems like no choice but it is comfort of having Vs, the possible cold embrace of my self again.


Oh by the by, have you seen my little you eye?
Marble tint now of the hated black and the soul..i guess its true, i have let go, just a little bit more

Have lost my touch, a gift i didn't even know i had to begin with in a drunken, drug hazed, and depressed time? I lost my gift to write those lullaby's and those thoughts oh so dark that haunted me so long and so painfully,

i lost my taste for the music i used to love so much, some is just alien to me now, and i didn't wish this, i didn't choose this did I?

or am I so depressed now and that was me, the unlazy (in a way) poet of mind and pain, have I lost so much brain function that I can't write more the what i hear so beautifully spoke in my ears from others lips?

I am i stuck with no more pain in my life, you know the thing i dreamed for, ever?

No! No, that cant be because i hurt so badly i am just not seeing it, not feeling it....what has deaden me to my own emotions, my own soul...

I miss lying awake for hours and hurting, because it meant I was live, it was something i could have spoken to the kinderd spirt that has watched my soul grow, watched it and saved it from so many mistakes and some many almost fatal moments

My offer still stands Jer, my heart and soul, to move into a place together, here or there, or the gawd dam mid west.

When your the girl that wants I, I will be waiting right here.
(You will be looking right here?)
You where the one that believed, I wont know what to believe.
(I guess i never believed)
When you'll be the girl that I want, I will be the boy that you hate.
(A Star no Star)