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Dear *****,
Why had you changed? Where did you go? Behind that same face, There's another person I don't know.
We used to be so close, Used to be so tight, We made each other feel, That everything would be right.
Time had came and went, We loved, got hurt, and wept, I was there for you, as you were for me, But what now? What do you see?
Yes, I'm crying, Crying out for you! Yes, I'm hurting, Can you feel it, too?
*****, why did you this to me? Why did you leave me? Why did you replace me? Had you needed more? Had you wanted more? Why hadn't you asked me for more? Wasn't I enough? What, *****, wasn't I?
Time had came and went, You've learned to laugh, and I haven't, Still I weep out the tears, Yes, only for you, do you hear?
If you don't want me anymore, Please do not neglect me even further, I won't push myself towards you, Because I do know, you hate it when I do.
Just one simple request is what I ask, Never forget the day we met, If you still wear that awful mask, Do not forget the one you left.
Goodbye, my dear, I'll miss you so much, Enough for me to not move on and such, I'll always remember you as I go on with life, Nothing can erase the memory of you, No man, No object, And not even time.
From me with love, Your dear friend, Mia Hugs and kisses, And this last goodbye.
xXlovable_shawtyXx · Sat Apr 12, 2008 @ 12:05pm · 0 Comments |
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Wonder why I just shed those tears? Why I just let them trickle down my cheek? Because it hurt.
Wonder why I just let you win now? And just bow my head down? Because it still hurts.
Wonder why I don't talk to you? Even if I really wanted to? Because it will always hurt.
My heart shattered Like every other girl's In every other love story.
But, the irony is, It wasn't a love story from the start It was just me all the while.
Just me day dreaming about us Just me wishing you'd think about me, too Just me loving you.
For me it was a shame You calling out another woman's name. Tonight let me be solitary Be alone, and savor tranquility. And let history repeat itself, Let me cry my heart out, Let me be "me". For tomorrow, Love, it will still hurt.
xXlovable_shawtyXx · Sat Apr 12, 2008 @ 11:31am · 0 Comments |
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He pushed her up against the wall, And screamed directly into her face, Telling her how she ******** up again, & How is she only taking up space.
She cried as he told her she worthless, Her make-up now smearing; making her a mess. He must have not cared about her painful cries, He just kept hitting her as she tried to apologize.
She tried to tell him to stop, But he didn't until the last teardrop. She was battered & bruised; left all alone, Her heart had been ripped to pieces & left unsewn.
But no matter what he did to her she'd never leave, Everyone of his lies she wanted to believe. Pain and love was wrapped into one, For what he did cannot be undone.
xXlovable_shawtyXx · Sat Apr 12, 2008 @ 02:58am · 0 Comments |
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Sit back and close your eyes, Then hide behind all of your lies. Exale and stedidly breathe in, As you inject that deadly toxin.
You tell yourself only one more time, As you sell yourself since it's worth every dime. Hoping that with every single p***k, Your pain will ease so it's not as thick.
When you look in the mirror you're not longer there, You see someone else's scarred face and greasy hair, You know the person staring back could never possibly be you, Only because you know friends who do it too.
Fill yourself up with false confedience and security, Acting like the badass you're not and losing all maturity. You'll soon lose everything you once loved and cherished, Not knowing that every hint of humanity you had perished.
So go ahead and wear that fake smile with pride, Finally realizing that everything you once stood for died. You can continue to count the number of nights you cried, Knowing that everyone who said you wouldn't get addicted,lied.
xXlovable_shawtyXx · Sat Apr 12, 2008 @ 02:54am · 0 Comments |
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She sits and waits patiently, As if he going to appear right there, She can remember they way he used to kiss her cheek, And how he'd brush away her hair.
She stares at his picture, As a tear slides down her cheek and drips, She cries harder as she knows he'll never be there again, She realizies the truth everyday as her heart rips.
She can't take that never again will he stand in her doorway, She can't stand that he will never hold her anymore, She wants to bring him back to her, Without him she'd stone cold solid to the core.
She sleeps and dreams of his face, She wakes to see he's not sleeping softley next to her in bed, He's gone off to another girl, but she just can't wrap that around her head.
So everyday she waits patiently, For a call or maybe a knock on the door, But he's not going to come back, He's decided to not be with her anymore.
xXlovable_shawtyXx · Sat Apr 12, 2008 @ 02:51am · 0 Comments |
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Can words change anything? |
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I'll keep telling you things will be ok, But I don't know what else to say. Would it matter if I write, speak, or sing? Can my words change anything? I'll keep reaching out my hand, Help you in anyway I can. I'm not another here to reprimand, Still, you don't seem to understand. Anything short of a little respect... I bet that's exactly what you expect Life doesn't feel all too fair, When there's nobody there to care. You tell me it's none of my business, Tried to uphold your resistance. I can see the dam breaking, I can see that you're faking. Is it easier to abide when you have nothing to lose? I'll stand by your side no matter what you choose. Ignore me if you want independence. I'll always offer my assistance. I noticed you chose to not care anymore. You can't lose if there's nothing you're fighting for. Your indifference of life is killing me, Your pain is filling my head. Behind that fake smile I can see, The closest thing to the living dead. A walking tradgedy, A heart that always bleeds, An everyday masquerade, A smile that too easily fades. Like your life has become a war, That you don't intend to win, Waiting for the bomb to drop, Waiting for the end. You don't plan to stop, The cuts all over your arms. Anywhere a knife can reach, Is somewhere you cause harm. I just want you to try, I guess that's too much to ask. Everyday you live your lie, And hide behind your mask. I'd hoped you'd take your own advice... "Love yourself, and enjoy life." In my head, I'm screaming "Hypocrite!" But I couldn't imagine saying it. If there's anything left of you to break, It's not a mistake I want to make. So tell me now, if you think it's plausible, If there's the slightest possibility, How do you make someone want to live? How can you help them want to breathe? When they've completely given up on hope, Is there any other way to help them cope? I wish you could see how beautiful life can be. I wish you'd keep trying to be happy. I'll write faster and talk more. If music helps, then I'll sing. I know exactly what I'm fighting for... But can words change anything?
xXlovable_shawtyXx · Thu Apr 10, 2008 @ 01:32am · 0 Comments |
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Folding up another note, And hiding it away. Thinking of the things he wrote. What else could he have to say? "I'm not asking you out again, Though I hope it would be yes." Maybe he's not perfect, But he's sure trying his best. She wonders when he'll let go. The longer you hang on the more you bleed. Still he doesn't seem to know, She doesn't feel a thing. His heart's on fire with desire, Or at least thats what she's told. She's never felt that way before, So how could she know? Sure, she wants someone by her side, Someone to call her own. But it's worse to be in bad company, Than it is to be alone. Cupid's looking for a fool, Looking for a matching pair, Setting up the rules, To make the game fair, As all should be in love and war. That's the cliche we abide by, But tell her what you're fighting for. Try to tell her why. Keep sending out those love letters, Try to tell her that this love exists. Try to make it all feel better, But she'll tell you, "Cupid missed."
xXlovable_shawtyXx · Thu Apr 10, 2008 @ 01:25am · 0 Comments |
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My disguise leaves only a shadow of my reflection Just a small spark of reality Hiding another soul from life's haphazard detection Another facade to conceal my duality I see not one face, but two A bipolarity across the room You can't see the real me nor I the real you And I doubt these lies will end soon Smiles and laughs blockade this place The drama side of comedy on the rims Yet underneath each smile is a tear stained face Red eyes peering through twisted perceptions Accepting and admitting aren't the same concept In this world of pain, only reality stings Within a place stained with shame and regret We hide our lives behind prettier things Fingering the mask around the edges Only doubt and fear remain steady Searching for one's self and finding cages Forced to walk through life blindly Catharsis hasn't helped my hideous past Disfiguring scars mirror constantly remembered history My spirit is fading and I don't know how long I can last A life full of lies tends to steal your sanity Sweat and tears trace down my frame More reasons to stay forever hidden Though I'm the last I want to blame Life has come as I have bidden The mask slips off into an oblivion A real face revealed in need of aid This life has become so barren I need something more than a masquerade
xXlovable_shawtyXx · Thu Apr 10, 2008 @ 01:20am · 0 Comments |
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I watch as the sun rises, and listen as birds sing. But no one can tell me What tomorrow will bring.
Will I still feel depressed, angry and hurt ? Or maybe just envy, loneliness, with no comfort.
What has become of us ? Why are we not happy anymore ? My eyes are filled with heartache and doubt. And my mind is at war with itself.
The things that you said, you start to regret. You're sitting with your lover playing russian roulette. No more chances left. You're dead. Lying on the floor with a bullet in your head.
Is it love, is it real ? Or is it just my imagination ? Do I really want to come to the realization, that it won't work, and I'll never heal.
You can't help the temptation. Of self mutilation. This time, did you go too deep ? Did you make a promise you can't keep ?
Maybe we're to young To know the meaning of love. But I can't help what I feel, Cause I know that it's real.
The things that you said, you start to regret. You're sitting with your lover playing russian roulette. No more chances left. You're dead . Lying on the floor with a bullet in your head.
But I'll take the risk. Cause you're worth it. And me and you could be perfect. I'll take the risk. And I'll take the chance. Just me and you, and a possible romance.
xXlovable_shawtyXx · Wed Apr 09, 2008 @ 04:27am · 0 Comments |
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Her burning tears. Mascara smears. So tired of trying. So sick of the lying.
Tried to fix things. That were unfixable. Tried to break things. That were unbreakable.
Black staining her pale face. She's falling and fading away. To weak to get back up. Her soul was corrupt. Sorry she was never good enough.
A crimson stained cross. Ingraved into her skin. For everything she lost. For each one of her sins.
Blood, sweat, and tears. Morbid dreams and fears. The end of us is near.
xXlovable_shawtyXx · Wed Apr 09, 2008 @ 04:23am · 0 Comments |
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Self Inflicted Inspiration |
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Starve yourself to perfection. Addiction to self mutilation. You can't find your inspiration. So you create it.
The self inflicted pain. The tears run down your face. Blood and mascara stains. All the things you can't erase.
Betrayal and defeat. Those you tried to deceit. Death won't let you cheat. Is your heart still beating ?
So many regrets. I'll never forget.
Sleepless nights, and restless dreams. Too many memories. Long lost, and forgotten.
Now you're down to a size zero. Still can't find a cure. Tell me, How much more will you allow ? How much more can you endure ? Tell me, Where's your hero now ? He's long gone ..
Your bestfriend was your knife. You wasted your life. On things that don't seem so bad anymore.
What have you done ? What have you become ?
(You break the skin). Now the only thing left, is you're skeleton. (You tear it apart). Your body's decaying. There's nothing left of your heart
xXlovable_shawtyXx · Wed Apr 09, 2008 @ 04:16am · 0 Comments |
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WOULD YOU.... Lock me in your room and take advantage of me? Lick my cheek? Miss me if we went out then broke up? Dance with me? Let me make you breakfast? Tap me on the a**? Help me with homework? Tickle me to death? Let me tickle you? Stick up for me if I was being put down? Carress my body? Play strip poker with me? Say yes if i asked you out? Let me wear your pants? Get wasted with me? Instant message me? Greet me in public? Hang out with me? Bring me around your friends?
DO YOU... Think I'm cute? Think I'm hot? Want to kiss me? Want to cuddle with me? Want to hook up with me?
AM I... Smart? Cute? Funny? Cool? Loveable? Adorable? Compassionate? Annoying? Great to be with? Attractive? Mean? Odd?
HAVE YOU EVER... Thought about me? Thought there might be an "us"? Thought about hooking up with me? Found yourself wanting a kiss from me? Wished I were there? Grabbed me? Had a crush on me? Idolized me? Wanted my number? Had a dream about me? Been distracted by me?
ARE YOU... Happy you know me? Mad at me? Thinking about me? Going to repost this in your journal so that I will return the favor?
xXlovable_shawtyXx · Wed Apr 09, 2008 @ 03:44am · 1 Comments |
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Self Proclaimed Beauty Queen |
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Miss self-proclaimed beauty queen. Made up of plastic, lies and morphine. Narcotic obsessions and a cocaine smile. Hides the misery and makes it worth your while.
Make up covers the cracks in her porcelain skin. Some people say her beauty must be a sin. Her perfect painted face, and cult of fashion zombies. The toxic bombshell with a supermodel's body.
So fabricated and twisted it's ******** obscene. Little miss perfect, the vanity queen. A shallow girl with her fake poison pearls. Starving for acceptance in a ******** up world.
Stop and stare as she struts her stuff. Attention addict, she can't get enough. When she feels desired, she shines like a star. Her flawless disguise hides her secret scars.
Looking for love, so lost and confused. Somewhere along the way, let her heart be abused. They'll say they love her if she spreads her legs. She makes herself believe the lies that they say.
It's easy to get hooked, when you can't tell it's just a show. Mindless desires and a well-crafted ego. A psycho beauty, with all that plastic surgery. She's bleeding scapels and puking up self esteem.
xXlovable_shawtyXx · Wed Apr 09, 2008 @ 03:23am · 0 Comments |
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And the poison spreads. ._. |
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My heart- an abyss My mind- a shroud A shroud of death amidst All of the hollow smiles
The bottle of black Sitting there Sitting there.
My eyes flicker From the memories of you To my pathetic answer to my misery How could you not see The love I had for you?
The p***k of a tear Stinging my eyes Forcing me Forcing me to cry
Your words an echo- An echo in my mind "Friends is all that we will ever be" The truth to your lies
But I still love you Not in the way a girl is supposed to love a boy, at least... I don't think so
But the love remains Even though you've killed my soul My souless eyes Now flooding with colour At the mere thought of you
Of you.
I've had enough Enough of these thoughts I pick up the bottle The bottle of the black poison.
Snake venom
I put the bottle to my lips And I tilt my head back As the poison slides down my throat I pick up the note As I lay down With my thoughts on my chest
"I love you forever more"
And the poison spreads My breath- so shallow My heart- barely beating My voice- just a whisper
The door breaks open I see your face
Tears.
You pull my dying body to you And you kiss my lips "Please don't," You whisper "Please don't die!"
You read the note My love in four words And your eyes... The love that I feel, I see in your emerald eyes
You look at me And we both know it's too late But you draw a breath And pull out your knife
You whisper to me "If you can't spend the rest of your life with me," You say through your pain, "Then at least let me die with you!"
What heart I have left Melts with your words And I find the strength to speak To speak one last time
"I love you" I say as I strain for the breath And you hug me as closely as our bodies will allow "And I love you too"
You take your last breath, As my eyes shut And I hear the slit And I feel the blood Of your aching heart Flowing from your throat
You die.
With a dying me in your arms.
I take a breath, And then...
No more.
xXlovable_shawtyXx · Wed Apr 09, 2008 @ 03:10am · 0 Comments |
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Your kiss is poison As it stains my lips And I hear your voice in my ear, feeling your fingertips Your hand is placed in mine Darling, you're so divine My heart beats faster A smile on your face I'm a disaster A love that can't be replaced The moments that I spend with you I'm falling apart I'm falling in love with you It is you that holds my heart That has been broken many times before Despite my constant distance I'm falling for you more and more And when we're apart, its you I'm missing Your love is poison As it stains my heart Your lips are moist and I can't stand it when we're apart Your hand is placed in mine Darling, you're so divine My heart beats faster A smile on your face I'm a disaster A love that can't be replaced
xXlovable_shawtyXx · Wed Apr 09, 2008 @ 03:04am · 0 Comments |
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