Someday, our paths will cross again. Someday, we'll finally put the past behind us. Someday, things will be as they were again and we'll pick up where we left off.
But when someday is, i dunno. Maybe it's just a fantasy and everything was just a dream. I really wish I could go back and change things but this is reality and everything happens for a reason. This sucks. I keep finding myself remembering all the good memories and wishing i could relive them. I wish i didn't ******** do what i did, i wish i wasn't so goddamned quick to anger all the time, i wish i had remembered that every action has a consequence.
More importantly, I wish Matt never existed. I wish I could erase his black stain from my life and then things would be different. Matt destroyed a great friendship i had and i wish i could destroy everything he loves just to show him how it feels.
I'll never be able to change what I did and I'll never feel good about myself until this feud is over. I wish i had the words to tell him without feeling i'm going to be rejected. I miss talking to him, I miss..him.
What I wouldn't give to go back in time and save the friendship between Zaid and I. I can't. So for now, I'm stuck with fading memories, and an old faded tattered journal. It's the only thing to remind me there were better memories. Before all this.
Kyoka Yukia Daraku · Sat Feb 26, 2011 @ 05:19am · 0 Comments |