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Dairy Hat Diaries
A selection of random ponderings, meanderings, and other detritus from the mind of the man pseudonymed "Ryan Jakobi".
Support a Struggling Non-Artist
So...yeah, celebrating my Gaia semi-return with some new stuff, and also, an old radio play script idea with a dialogue between Doctor Light and Doctor Wily. In this script, Doctor Light will be played by the letter L and Wily will be played by the letter W:

W: Thomas! Thomas! We got the technical grant in the mail! The government said they wanted to have two thousand sniper joes ready for Nicaragua! Thomas? Doctor Light? Where in blazes are you?
L (with horrible lisp): Hewwo.
W: AGH! You scared me.
L: I'm sorry. I've been busy working on my pwototypes.
W: Your what?
L: My pwototypes. The wobots that are going to wevolutionize our field.
W: Oh, those. But we don't need them, Doctor Light. We got to get the sniper joes ready to ship out.
L: Doctor Wowee, the sniper joes are nothing compawed to these cweations. See that one over there?
W: What? The bucket?
L: Not the bucket! There! There!
W: Oh, I see it now. The robot without the head.
L: That one, yes. Observe.
W: Observe what?
L: The machinewee, the cwome, the sweek wines of the twunk…
W: On the trunk…yes, erm. Oh, I see now. This is going to be a female robot.
L: No, that's the female one over there.
W: Uh…you sure?
L: Yes. See, Doctor Wowee.
W: Wily.
L: That's what I said.
W: No you didn't. You said Wowee…or something. Whatever you just said.
L: I certainwee did not!
W: Screw it, then. What's so special about these robots?
L: Pwototypes.
W: Yes. Those…what's so special about them?
L: They are made fwom new designs which emphasize the intwoduction of a new awwoy formed from the smelting of magma with a centwalized…
W: Whoa, whoa, wait…what's an awwoy?
L: Awwoy. Metal awwoy. You know what that is, surewee.
W: But you didn't say…
L: …with a centwalized pwocessing cole with eight owganic gigabytes of wearnable wetware.
W: Yes, okay. So…what's it do.
L: The male pwototype right here…
W: The one in the panties.
L: They are NOT panties! They are highly develwoped kevwar layered pwotectors for the interfacial weceptacles.
W: So…Kevlar panties then.
L: Can we just move on?
W: You're a weird little man, Doctor Light.
L: In either case, the male pwototype is designed for covert miwitawy appwications and can learn and adapt enemy attacks to cweate its own fighting style.
W: Fascinating. And the female?
L: She just does housecleaning. We have a filthy lab and all, so I thought…
W: Housecleaning. How women's lib of you. You going to dress her as a French maid too?
L: Shut up!
W: Or were you planning to dress the male like that?
L: SHUT UP!
W: Fine. Fine. So what will you call them?
L: What?
W: Names, Doctor Light. We had that Blues robot that ran away. Then we had Tango the robot cat…
L: He's a nice kitty.
W: Then we had Beat, Bossanova, Mezzoforte, Arpeggio, Pianissimo…what was that one we created for Japan?
L: Mechagodziwwa?
W: No, the one we did for the gentleman's club.
L: Oh. That would be Double Cwef.
W: That one, yes. So what's this pair gonna be called?
L: The male I'm going to call Wock. And the female I'm going to call Woll.
W: Rock and Roll. Never saw that one coming. So, I'll just leave you with your…erm…pwototypes.
L: Don't mock me, Wowee.
W: Wily. And I'll just take care of those sniper joes. I'll use Guts Man too since he isn't doing anything.
L: Guts man is gweat for wifting cos he's got Guts! Ha ha ha ha ha!
W: Yes. How funny. Least you didn't name him Volate or Prosafundi or something like that. I dunno, damn man-panty robots. I wonder how he gets away with them.
L: Okay, Wock. Let's have a look at your…interfacial weceptors…oooh, hee hee. Naughty wobot…




Remember that Art Walk thread I had?

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