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I really have nothing else to do right now so I decided to update my journal. I know, I'm really bad with updating on this, but I have a real blog on Xanga so alot of the time I almost completely forget about this one because i've already written the days thoughts on my Xanga one. sweatdrop It gets confusing at times....OH! Before I forget, please people keep your fingers crossed for me. Tomorrow I'm auditioning for a play at my school, I'm sorta nervous but hopefully everything will work out fine. and if it doesn't, you'll know because I will be on here completely bitching and I'll be talking about how I'm now stuck at home drowning my sorrows in RAMEN AND TEA!!! Though actually that sounds good, I might make myself some Ramen and Tea right now....^_^ The biggest thing I'm pissed about for these auditions is that there are a HELL OF A LOT OF FRESHMEN! this year and almost all of them wanna do drama so the auditions are gonna be ******** packed, and even worse. There's this girl Gillian who is a ******** big headed c**t a** b***h! Who thinks that just because she got a few good parts in the junior high plays that she's ******** this theatre goddess and I happen to hate her guts because in reality, A) Her parts were'nt all that good, come on she was Kid #1??? She didn't even ******** have a name!!!! B) SHE CAN'T ACT FOR s**t!!!! She doesn't have any real talent for it at all, all she ever does is just do exactly what it says in her script and she's really bad about not remembering her lines and she goes over her script like 5 minutes before the ******** show starts! I am gonna laugh my a** off if she tries to pull s**t like that at the high school because that b***h has another thing coming, there are tons of better actors than her, (( a toad could act better than her! )) and The Barnes's (( our drama directors )) don't allow you to have a script at one point, they make you get rid of them or at least leave them at home and actually for most of the shows last year they made us remember our lines about a week and half into rehearsals and then we weren't allowed to have our scripts out at all anymore. But I hope that b***h auditions the same day as me and during the audition ******** falls off the stage and cracks her head open, I hate her that much. She's ******** 2 years younger than me and she thinks she can ******** be a total b***h and say she's better than me and s**t! I realize I'm not that great of an actress, there are a hell of a lot of things that I could do to improve my acting skills. Everyone has stuff they could improve, and there are lots of better actors at our school than me but I do know that I AM better than HER! She has no creativity so her character is just off a page! High school shows are gonna be hell for her, and I'm gonna be laughing my a** off!!! pirate twisted
AriaThorn · Tue Sep 13, 2005 @ 10:20pm · 2 Comments |
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Quote: Kody was very scared by the comments in his and my journals o_0 he says you're creepy
WOOTNESS! lol, yea for those of you who don't understand. My stepsister wrote that in my comments on my last post because on her journal and on kody's journals I wrote strange and...interesting comments about them fed-exing me a british boy we know. AJ, I haven't talked to you in so long. sad I feel hurt. lol, kidding. You probably have a life, it's cool anywayz. It's been so long since I was on last, school is crazy so its really hard for me to actually get online. Plus especially since my moms pissed, I HAVE A WHOLE TOWN PRESSING CHARGES AGAINST ME! wait, let me explain. See, me and my friends wrote stuff all over this park by our towns bank and the cops took pictures then washed it all off and we wrote more...and that continued for a while until one of my friends were caught with markers and they ended up ******** narcing on all of us! So the districts pressing charges against us possibly and we may have to go to court for it. Plus it's possible that we'll have to pay a fine and/or do community service. ^_^ I'm such a good girl aren't I twisted lol rofl I love that smiley, it's fun. Carpe Diem
Hey! all you Inuyasha fans out there, check out my Inuyasha story on Quizilla. <~~~~ THIS IS WHAT YOUR CHARACTER LOOKS LIKE, YOUR NAME IS TWILIGHT. YOU MUST READ THE QUIZZES IN ORDER TO LEARN MORE! ^_^ PLEASE CHECK IT OUT ~~~> FORBIDDEN LOVE~*~AN INUYASHA STORY~*~
AriaThorn · Sat Sep 10, 2005 @ 11:09pm · 0 Comments |
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again...holy s**t! It's been so ******** long since I was on last on! Sorry everyone, thankfully though it's nice to know some people slightly missed me. ^_^ I guess once school started I really started to get busy because I'm doing a lot of theatre stuff and I am a roadie which on monday/tuesdays and possibly this year wensdays, I stay at school till 10 o'clock running the sound system for our show choirs. And even though i'm gonna try my hardest this year to try and stay on here a lot through school, it's gonna be tough because I am gonna do all the theatre stuff again - I have to buckle down more on my homework cause I have to take freshmen science over again cause I failed from lack of homework turning in and failed pretty much all the tests. gotta say, science aint my best subject. Luckily I actually passed math though ^_^ theres a shocker! Thankies to my friend Susie, she let me copy her homework practically every morning on the bus ^_^ without her I'd be held back in Algebra, which already is an LD class. Also this year, I'm not only doing Roadies yet again but I'm the Roadie Head! So I get to be in control which means I need to stay longer and get there earlier and try and recruit people and keep everyone in line and make sure we dont break and or lose anything and....damn. I don't wanna be Roadie Head, but I don't have a choice because otherwise we would have a big group of dumbass Roadies who would'nt be able to do s**t because I'm the only Roadie left over from last year! Everyone but Me and my friend Jessica quit, and plus there were a lot of seniors so they graduated, and Jessica tried out for the Show Choir Commotion and she got in, so I'm the last surviving Roadie. But I think being Roadie Head is probably gonna kill me from stress so I've gotta find out where I can buy one of those little portable bottles of Tylenol, and maybe seven bottles of vodka. lol, BEWARE! I WILL BE VERY BITCHY WHEN I BECOME ROADIE HEAD! SO IF I COME ON ALOT AFTER ROADIES, THEN BEWARE MY BITCHINESS BECAUSE I WILL BE READY TO KILL ANYONE WHO EVEN SLIGHTLY TICKS ME OFF! because sadly, I can't kill my Roadies, we need as many as we can get! Especially cause, I can't remember half the s**t I learned so before Roadie's actually starts, I have to get the choir director Mr Tieri. to let me check out the sound system and see if I still remember how to do it. lol, damn it this years gonna suck! OH! And even better, I now have Earlybird gym! So I have to wake up at 5:00 and be at school an hour earlier then usual! DAMNIT DAMNIT DAMNIT! evil evil evil evil evil WHY DID I PICK THAT CLASS?!?!?!?!?!?!....oh yeah, it gives me extra credits in gym, so if I stick with it. for one of my school years, I can completely get rid of gym! actually...I like gym, thats one of the few classes I enjoy. Well maybe the extra credits can help me graduate early. Thanks for reading my rant everyone. Defy Gravity!!!!!
AriaThorn · Thu Jul 28, 2005 @ 03:55am · 1 Comments |
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Omg! I cannot believe all this s**t thats going on between me and susie and lizzy, okay well to clue you all in on whats going on. Yesterday lizzy had been telling David's new girlfriend Jasmine all this s**t about how he's cheating on her and stuff and it was pissing David off and plus it really wasn't doing anything to help Jasmines self esteem and shes got low self esteem already so yeah and it was getting spread all around the school and so david was really getting pissed off and he was saying how he was going to hit lizzy and I told him that I would do it for 3 very good reasons. 1) it'd be better if lizzy got slapped not punched 2) david would get in trouble not only for hitting someone but for hitting a girl of all things and 3) lizzy has been pulling so much crap for so long deep deep down sorry to say I've always wanted to just smack her and now I have another good reason. So I did it, after play practice I smacked her across the face and she was pissed off about it. And then she got pissed at me and Susie for "taking david's side" but what she didn't and probably still doesn't realize is that me and susie aren't just taking davids side there is so much more then that. She has been pulling all this s**t for so ******** long that I'm getting tired of it and while I can't speak for susie she probably is getting tired of it too, and lizzy is getting so pissed at us that shes telling all this s**t to all these people and shes trying to get all of our friends to choose sides and she was constantly telling us that if we were her friends we would be on her side not davids but the point is that yes while we shouldn't officially have taken sides I went with davids side because I'm sick of the way lizzy acts and just because david did it to her doesn't mean she should be such a pathetic jealous b***h and try and make davids new girlfriend think that hes doing the same thing. thats total bullshit! Plus davids side wasn't just davids side, that was like being on the right side. I am standing up for all the things I've been trying to tell lizzy ever since I realized the things she does to her "friends" but ya know what if she was a good friend she wouldn't be making all of our other friends choose between sides. Like today I got a call from my so called friend Jessica and she called me and told me she absolutely hated me and I know that lizzy had been telling her s**t and to confirm it not only did I hear jessie talking to someone but I called lizzy's house and her brother told me she was at a friends. and she is taking all of this totally out of the park and shes calling up everyone making change sides and I realize at this point I'm repeating myself but I am so pissed off about all this. I'm apologizing right now in advance for all the negative stuff you're gonna see on this blog now while all this is going on, and I'm asking anyone who lizzys trying to get to choose sides, I'm not asking you to go on my side but I'm asking you not to go on lizzys. I'm asking you not to go on anyone's side, just leave it the way it should be, just between me and susie and lizzy because thats the only people who have problems with each other so we shouldn't have all these other people taking sides and turning it into a much larger problem then it really is. I'm sorry to anyone who lizzy has been making choose sides and I really hope all this blows over soon and I can stop having to let friends walk away because they decided to take a side and the side was lizzys. Don't choose lizzy's side, Dont choose susies side, Dont choose my side, don't choose any side. Thats not how these fights should be, don't choose a side and save yourself from the anger and stress. sad
AriaThorn · Sat Jan 29, 2005 @ 04:18am · 1 Comments |
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MY FATHER THINKS I AM: non-existant MY MOTHER THINKS I AM: a failure MAKES ME HAPPY: being with my friends UPSETS ME: somes makes fun of the suicidal THE PRETTIEST FEMALE YOU KNOW: I really can't say, thats a weird question for me to answer THE PRETTIEST MALE YOU KNOW: Joe THE WEIRDEST PERSON YOU KNOW: almost everyone I know is weird THE LOUDEST PERSON YOU KNOW: Lizzy (friend) THE SEXIEST PERSON YOU KNOW: Joe YOUR CLOSE FRIENDS: Lizzy, Suzie, Renee, Rachel, Jarod, and actually a few other people but I dont' wanna take too much space
THE PERSON THAT KNOWS THE MOST ABOUT YOU: either suzie or lizzy probably WHAT IS YOUR MOST OVERUSED PHRASE ON IM: TTYL THE LAST IMAGE/THOUGHT YOU GO TO SLEEP WITH: "must sleep" YOUR BEST FEATURE: I always stand up for my friends TAKE A SHOWER EVERYDAY: Yes. BEEN IN LOVE: Yes, *sigh* WANT TO GET MARRIED: Not yet HAVE ANY TATTOOS/WHERE?: Sadly, Not yet. SCREEN NAMES: too many to put here SIGN: Virgo NATURAL HAIR COLOR: Dirty Blonde I think CURRENT HAIR COLOR: dark brown with blood red highlights and a few blonde ones EYE COLOR: Really light blue
FAVORITES
NUMBER: 21 COLOR: Dark Red MONTH: October SONG: Drown You In Me GROUP: I don't have a favorite really TYPE OF MUSIC:anything but some country and rap ARTIST: again don't really have specific favorite RADIO STATION: don't listen to the radio alot TV SHOW: Inuyasha or Family Guy. SITE: www.xanga.com MOVIE: Stephen Kings Rose Red STORE: any thrift store or Hot Topic MALL: Westfield Mall HANGOUT: downtown oswego ACTOR: Adam Sandler ACTRESS: Alyssa Milano CHARACTER: Buffy FOOD: Pizza SEASON: Fall SPORT: Football, Basketball, or Soccer DRINK: Pop VEGGIE: can't really say
PREFERENCES
CUDDLE OR MAKE OUT?: depends who with CHOCOLATE MILK, OR HOT CHOCOLATE?: hot cocoa MILK, DARK, OR WHITE CHOCOLATE?: Milk VANILLA OR CHOCOLATE?: Either is good
IN THE LAST 24 HOURS, HAVE YOU. CRIED?: Yeah HELPED SOMEONE?: Yeah BOUGHT SOMETHING?: No GOTTEN SICK?: no SAID "I LOVE YOU"?/TO WHOM: Nope
WRITTEN A REAL LETTER?: Yeah MISSED AN EX?: no WRITTEN IN A JOURNAL? Yeah TALKED TO SOMEONE YOU CRUSH ON?: I wish HAD A SERIOUS TALK?: Nope MISSED SOMEONE?: Yeah HUGGED SOMEONE?: Yeah
BASICS
THEY CALL ME: Lost SEX: Female
MY FIRST BREATH OF AIR: 24 August, 1990
AGE: 14 STATUS: Typing OCCUPATION: Student, wanna-be actress NATIONALITY: Caucasian BEST FRIEND: can't choose MOST MEMORABLE MEMORY: don't have one FIRST WORD UTTERED: don't know FIRST BEST FRIEND: Carrington Konow COLLEGE PLANNING TO GO TO: I have a good idea, I just don't remember the name right now
FUTURE
RESIDENT OF: Tenessee WEDDING: On the beach CHILDREN: 3 maximum LOOKING FORWARD TO: Graduation NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO: leaving my friends
FEELING: depressed LISTENING TO: Ewan Mcgregor/Nicole Kidman - Elephant Love Medley TALKING TO: um...myself DOING: This thing. THINKING OF: going back to bed. CRAVING: cinnamon rolls HATING: that I've fallen in love again
L O V E
LOVE IS: great while it lasts, but its a heartache waiting to happen FIRST LOVE: true love? Adam CURRENT LOVE: Joe
LOVE OR LUST?: Love BEST LOVE SONG: Come What May ^_^
POSSIBLE TO BE IN LOVE W/ MORE THAN 1 PERSON AT A TIME? I wouldnt think so DOES IT MAKE YOU A SLUT? No. WHEN LOVE HURTS, YOU: cry and get depressed for a while. I've delt with it too many times to take it lightly GLAD: on a rare occasion
AriaThorn · Fri Dec 31, 2004 @ 08:08pm · 1 Comments |
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This is going to be a short post because its still only 9:04 A.M. and not really anything but one cool thing has happened so far today but I had to write about it now since I was updating and checking blogs anywayz. Well this morning my mom had my brother opening a few of his gifts because he was going to his dads house until christmas night so he wouldn't be here tomorrow morning to open up all his gifts so he opened a few this morning and my mom let me open up two of mine as well and she opened two of hers, I got some really cool gifts. One I did ask for and the other one I didn't even know existed but it's awesome, I got the Moulin Rouge Soundtrack which is the greatest soundtrack - its right up there in the top three with the Phantom of the Opera Soundtrack and the Seussical the Musical soundtrack. (not sure if I spelled Seussical correctly) And I also got this really cool Aromatherapy Necklace kit thing, what it is is you have a pendant necklace and four genuine jade stones and you can change which stone is in the pendant and it also comes with four aromatherapy oil blends. When you change the stones you take the scent you want based on what type of aromatherapy you need and you put the oil on the back of the stone and then put it in the necklace and you have an Aromatherapy necklace. It's really awesome and the oils smell great. ^_^ Well I guess thats the most exciting thing thats happened so far today, I'll be on later at night because we're going to go to a family friends house and hang out there, we're leaving at 5:30. Also hanging out last night at Jarods was really awesome, It was me, him and Gaby a girl who Jarod met and my step sister Kacey's birthday party. We watched a bunch of Thumb movies like The Blair Thumb, Thumbtanic, Frakenthumb, and there was another one maybe two but the title escapes me. And we watched Monty Python's The Life Of Brian and Monty Python and The Holy Grail. It was an awesome day, I still think that Gaby and Jarod should date, I know Gaby likes Jarod I'm just not sure if the feeligns mutual. Oh well, love is a battlefield - the famous words of Pat Benetar. ^_^ Well I'll be on later, TTFN Ta Ta For Now
AriaThorn · Fri Dec 24, 2004 @ 03:56pm · 0 Comments |
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I hate it, I like someone but I don't know how to tell him. I hate when things like that happen, you know you like someone and you wan't to tell them you just don't know how. And even worse is that since i'm moving I don't have much time to tell him, yeah I don't know when or actually where I'm moving but if anything that makes it worse. Because at any time my parents can come up to me and tell me that we're moving to god knows where in like a week! But the main thing is, I've sort of become friends with him...well I think of us kinda as friends but he seems to only act like a friend to me when we do theatre together, we've been in two plays together and in both of them he does act like a really good friend to me but then once the plays are over it's like he doesn't know I exist anymore. I guess you can't really call that a friendship, but I wish you could. I think that this surprisingly would be a whole lot easier to do if I was his friend, for some reason I think it would be easier because then I could probably talk to him easier about it and I'd be a whole lot more comfortable with him. Of course my last friend who I told I might like him as more then a friend completely ignored me and I lost my best guy friend ever, but while I don't wanna completely lose any type of friendship me and this guy might have I don't wanna move away knowing that I never told him how I feel...thats just something I've never been able to live with, I've done it in the past and its not a good feeling. It's worse then knowing you've been rejected, or when someone you love has left you for another or left you because they found a flaw they didn't like. It's worse then being cheated on and in my opinion its worse then any kind of heart-ache...because its the feeling of having your heart broken before you could even really fall in love, you don't know how the other person feels and theres a good chance you'll never know. I saw a icon one time that said - "If you love someone, tell them. Because broken hearts are often caused by unspoken words." - I think thats entirely true, If you love someone nothing will hurt you more then knowing there was that small possibility you could have had something great but you never took the chance to make it happen. But the thing with this guy is that I know I thats its a million to one chance that he feels even close to the same way I feel about him, and while my instincts are screaming at me tell him someway how I feel, every single piece of my broken heart is crying for me to just hide the feelings away and forget about him and not let myself get hurt again. Should I risk it, or should I just forget about him? I don't know what to do....I never know the right thing to do, because whatever I always think is the right thing to do always ends up hurting me...how am I supposed to do this? We have so much different things about us, and there are so many things that factor into making it so it's impossible for anything to happen except for me getting my heart broken even worse. He's a senior, I'm a freshmen. He's really intelligent and not to mention a great actor and is really witty and sweet and handsome, I'm ugly and I have no talent for anything I do and not to mention I have about nothing intelligent about myself. Yeah you can say I have bad self esteem, I blame love for that though. Which is all the more reason for me to hide away my feelings and just add them to what I cry for and for what I allow the tears to drain away, but there are so many reasons in my gut telling me to tell him how I feel. But I don't wanna risk getting hurt, I know I'm gonna get hurt so much in my life that I don't know how I'm gonna handle it but it shouldn't stop me from falling in love...but knowing all these chances I have of getting hurt and not even sure if its worth it just isn't helping and actually this is all getting confusing and really isn't making sense. Damnit I hate love...wow and I thought I'd have nothing to do over winter break, I guess I'm gonna have to battle myself during the entire damned thing. It's like I'm three different people, ones fallen in love and want's him to know - one is also in love but is also upset and knows it wont work and that i'll end up hurt - and the third is sitting there crying not knowing what to do, having to bear the shouts of both of the other two yelling what should be done and has to carry the burden of the broken heart and knows that whatever is dont wont help her at all but will make one of the others stronger and possibly not only her weaker but cause more tears to flow and help drain her of her pain and sorrows. ~ I have such a strange twisted minds, and all of this is just so crazy. DAMNIT! Isn't there something I can do to help myself, is there anyone who can help me? If so, please speak up. sad
AriaThorn · Fri Dec 24, 2004 @ 03:54pm · 0 Comments |
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W.W.B.A. - Wasting Winter Break Away |
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Wow, that was a really idiotic post title. However sadly it is true, I seriously know I'm going to just waste this entire break on doing stupid stuff, I'm going to end up either spending the entire time on the computer and playing video games or I'm going to end up watching TV and sleeping all break. The sleeping I have nothing against though considering that this entire year, and this isn't every night this is in all, I have been running on just barely an hour and a half of sleep! I'm a total insomniac and normally I have nothing against it because I have something to do while I'm awake and then I have a bunch of stuff to do during the day with school and after school activities that keep me awake but during winter break if I continue my insomniac ways then when I wake up I won't have anything to do and I'm going to be completely bored and I won't be able to fall back asleep because thats always impossible so basically I'm screwed! Damnit it all to hell! I only have two things planned during the break that I know will help, tomorrow I'm going to a friends for a monty python movie party thing where we're all gonna sit there with popcorn and be weirdos and talk about and watch a bunch of monty python movies ( "We wont risk another frontal assault, that rabbits dynamite!" ) ^_^ Yeah we are weirdos lol, and also I'm going to the movies with my friend Susie and Lizzy and Kurt and Sean of course I'm gonna feel like a fifth wheel cause theres nobody to go with me and I'm gonna basically be dateless - Anyone care to volunteer? - most likely not...anywayz actually I know the movies might not help all that much because we don't even know when we're gonna be going so basically I'm gonna hang around the house bored as hell and jumping every time the phone rings with hopes of having something to actually do and having my dreams crushed, burned and buried and continuing my boredom until they decide when we're going...wow, this is just gonna be an awesome winter break ain't it! -_- The bad thing about breaks, when you have NOTHING TO DO! Somebody please call me so we can hang out, I need something to do. This blog is basically the only thing thats keeping my time because I have three blogs on three different sites and I constantly have to update each and every one as well as read all my friends blogs on each site which adding all the different blogs on the different sites in all thats about over 30 different blogs so thats really all I have to look forward too but I normally don't do all that 'till before I go to bed. *Sigh* what a dull way to waste winter break. Someone save me from the boredom, please.
AriaThorn · Thu Dec 23, 2004 @ 02:17am · 1 Comments |
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Continuing this series of interesting posts this one is a pretty vague one...Love. Not a certain aspect or part of love but just love in general, which is a pretty hard thing to talk about when you think about it. Because if you were to ask yourself "What is love?" then the way you answer it is probably gonna end up being completely different then the way another person might answer that, nobody can really define what love really is except for defining what their hearts tell them it is. To me, love is when you shed tears and still want him, when he ignores you but you still feel the same way about him, it's when he tells you he's fallen in love with somebody and you smile and tell him your happy for him even though inside your falling apart. My meaning might still be a little vague and to some it might sound stupid, but I really think that if you truly love someone that feeling isn't going to just die so easily because of something as small as him loving someone else, or ignoring you, or making you cry. Obsession - then might be the way somebody could take that as, which to me sounds stupid. I've told someone my meaning of love and they laughed and said that it wasn't love it was obsession, but how is it obsession just because you love someone so much that you aren't going to let it die just because of small events. I realize I'm only 14 and people probably think I'll never know what love is until I'm about 30 but thats not true, just because somebody is young doesn't mean they don't know what love is. They might not know what love is to somebody who is older, but they know what love means to them. And if you ask me thats all that counts, you could be 50 and have been with hundreds of people and you might not know the true meaning of love. Nobody can, so whose to say people my age and possibly even people younger don't know what love is? They say high schoolers don't really know what love is because the average high school relationship lasts just barely over a week, well that might just mean that alot of people aren't dating for love. I'm sorry if I offend certain people when I say this but most of the high school population is shallow, they don't date for love or for their feelings. They date them because of popularity status, because they wan't to anger someone else who wants them or just because of a persons looks. If you did a poll on ever high schooler in one school and they answered truthfully, then the average high schooler has only about 10% percent of their relationships for anything that isn't shallow and were entirely for the reason that they had strong feelings of what they believed was loved. Now yes this entire post is probably gonna be disregarded, on the rare occasion it's actually read, and everyone will completely dismiss it as the broken hearted ramblings of a stupid 14 year-old freshmen girl who knows nothing about love. But I'm still standing by what I believe about love, no matter what anyone tells me I'm always going to stand buy it because I know that at least one of the things I believe about love is entirely true and thats that nobody knows or can truly define what love really is, So nobody can tell me that anything I believe is wrong just because they believe something different.
AriaThorn · Wed Dec 22, 2004 @ 02:01am · 0 Comments |
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