It's hard, living in this world. Feelings, thoughts, the others around us. Yes, it's definitely difficult. The feeling of being trapped. The feeling of being lost. The feeling of being out of control. They're all difficult to deal with, to cope with, to live with.
It's hard to live. But we do. We live, and we live, and we continue to live, up until the very day that we finally go home, until we finally rest from our struggles.
Living isn't easy. It hurts sometimes. We love, we lose, we gain, we struggle, we walk, we run, we stumble, we fall. It becomes unbearable at times. The weight feels like it's going to crush you. We all feel that at some point in our lifetimes. Like the whole world will crash down on our very shoulders, like a giant hole will open and devour us in our despair. It's difficult to see the light sometimes, because it seems so small and fragile, threatening to be overtaken by the darkness of the night at any moment.
But the stars continue to shine for us. Living is hard, but we are alive. That's what really matters, isn't it? We don't have to live for anyone, for anything. The fact that we are here, that we are fighting, that we are alive... that's all that really counts when it comes straight down to it, isn't it? We spend out lives, seeking praise... validation... some sort of way to know for sure "yeah, my life means something." Some people find it easily. Some people never find it. Some people just don't care anymore. Some people give it all up in the blink of an eye, and it's over, which is just sad.
Living is hard. But we do. And we keep doing it, and I'm not quite sure why. But the reasons are unimportant, and I and anyone else can wonder all we want to. But there is no real, rational reason. If I stop thinking about it, if I listen to my soul instead of my reason, I know. We just live. There is no reason we do it other than to do it. We are born, and from then on, our souls want to live and thrive in this world. There's no rational explanation, no deep hidden meaning. We're born, we learn that we are alive and that we can live, and then we keep doing it.
It's still precious, though. After all, there are so many things to cherish in this strange and cold world that make it feel like it was worth all of the struggle, all of the sadness, all of the pain, in the end.
You meet new people, from the moment your born and onwards. You learn, though them and yourself, what it is to love. What happiness is, what longing is, what crying is, what laughter is. And then you meet more people, and you learn, and you grow, and you love, and you lose, and then your grown up, but you still continue to learn, for the rest of your life, and you never know just how must you knew until the day that you die, and then you realize.
All of the struggles, all of the hardships, all of the lies, all of the despair, all of the mistakes, all of the guilt, and judgment, and crushing weight. You discover that in the end, it was worth it. Just how much you loved and, in return, were loved. Just how much you did mean, even if you never saw it before.
And then you're at rest, and you get to go home, whether that means heaven or simply back into the earth to begin the cycle of life anew again.
I believe this with all of my heart. It's what makes up my inner being, the person that I am. One person out of many, trying to make my own way in this world. I pray that I can remain strong enough to see this through.
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Sora-chan's totally awesome journal entry!!!!!
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FutureSorcererSupreme
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