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mooo

this is just ordinarry song of the day..

the cow goes meow, oh what a silly cow, the cow goes meow, oh what a silly cow. oh what a silly cow.

this is about today, last night, and times before.

i thought on my first instincts, before useing my head. and i ended up crying about him last night. not just him, but about us. i thought i was going to lose him. by me, his friends, or our parents...
i dont want that to happen, and it saddens me to the fact i thought i would lose him. i cryed for about an hour. over micheal, and myself.

i guess it was all just me to all blame. but he told me alot of improtant things.

"i wanna be with you, i wanna grow up with you, i wanna marry you, i wanna have children with you, i wanna grow old with you, i wana die with you."

that made me cry more, but not tears of saddness. it ached my heart, mending it through all the broken days, years and everything.

"if you were here, i would hugg you close to my heart and never let you go."

he said that to me, expressing his love, and desire to be with me. not anyone else, but me.

"you have my heart, mind, body, and soul."

as you have mine

i love you michael, i hope you read my jouirnal entry, for what im about to say, would make you cry.

i'll grow up with you. i'll marry you, i'll have children with you, i'll grow old with you, i'll die with you. i want to hugg you close and never let go, i wanna show you how much i love you. i wanna show you how much i truely care. i love you, with my mind, body, soul, and heart.
heart heart heart heart

last night when i finally went to bed. i cryed myself to sleep crying and was so tired in the morning i needed coffe. scream for a few days i've had insomnia. gonk (where you cant go to sleep) and waves of down syndrom sad (where you pass out from exhaustion)

my dad might let me call micheal on my cell biggrin , i will be calling him tonight when my dad leaves for boy scouts. smile 3nodding

at school.. gonk
normal day..had coffe this morning preventing down syndrom. blaugh xd had more people pick me up. whee xp they say im light and thin. i say im heavy and fat but they disagree with me. :sighs:.. eek surprised sad

went to english, sad couldnt find my paper i worked hard on. but i got a 81% on it. which is a C... stressed scream

went to spanish, i had no more coffe..and down syndrom took over me crying sad . i started to fall asleep and could barley keep my head up. xd gonk

go to math.. scream
and talked to moo (chris C.) and told him why i was sad. -the whole dad and micheal thing- and moo said stressed "how do you know if he's not banging some other girl right now?" sweatdrop whee domokun
i turned around and cryed silently, he kept saying sorry and everything. gonk sad crying

truth is..
i dont know if micheal does or will cheat on me. crying crying but i hope if he does, he tells me. sad i'll forgive him the first 2 times. but it really crushed my heart to hear chris say that. cause i know some of the things micheal said that really hurt, though i didnt say anything back. cry cry

get on bus.. gonk
Vortek (wojtek) uses his military thing/coin and shines the light in my eyes. whee stressed then pedro (Chris F.) punches me in the boob...:.stare:... xd and i just sat there thinking all the things around me that were bad. crying xp

i dont have many good things i have a few though..
1)micheal heart heart heart redface
2)Kat heart heart heart biggrin
3)drawing heart heart 3nodding

and thats it. nothing else really keeps me happy... sad

got grades today..

Art: A heart
World History/ Geography II: D stare
English 10: A heart
Helth/Pe/Sex Edu: A heart
Spanish: F domokun gonk
Biology: D stare
Interbrated Algebra/Geomitry: C smile