I need to let out some angry that i have. And i dont know where eles to do it because all my friends know my xanga. So ya. Here i am. Lets see.. my ex-boyfriend who i am still in love with is going out with a girl from another school. Did i metion my ex lives a house down from me and there pretty close. I cant sleep anymore because i dont want to dream about lies because thats all i see when i go to sleep. I failed my science test because i was half a sleep when i took it. Because i didnt go to bed last night. I have no one to talk to and no one understands how truely hurt i am. I feel like i am ruining my self and i dont know how i really am. But all i am is sad. Boys at school were beating me up today and i got slaped like 5 times. And I'm just in all pain. My head hurts more than ever. I can feel the beat of my heart in my head.
Today i saw my ex at a icecream place i went after school. God, we didnt even talk. We just ignored each other. I hate this. I hate memoires. This is all they do is ruin lives. I feel so sad all the time and no one knows. I dont belive in love anymore and i dont belive that i can ever feel happyer again. I'm graduating soon and i'm scaryed. I just dont have anything happy in my life. I buy stuff to try to make me happy and theres nothing happy about it. I just want something okay in my life.
Edit: I forgot to metion. I'm trying to help my friend who is suffering for a minor eatting disorder and i'm the only one who truely knows about it. And i'm sort of tired from that too.
dino x saur · Tue May 09, 2006 @ 02:47am · 1 Comments |