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It's been a whole year. One whole year and sometimes I wonder if anything's changed. I've thought about one thing at least once a day every day for the last year and now I have to wonder if I've forgotten how to think about anything else. Pathetic. I know.
Ymrys · Wed May 09, 2007 @ 05:19am · 0 Comments |
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It's the end of the world as I know it and I don't feel fine |
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So summer ends tomorrow. School starts on the fifth, sure, but after tomorrow, what is there really? After tomorrow...who knows.
Ymrys · Thu Aug 31, 2006 @ 05:33am · 0 Comments |
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I got home today and once again my mom was mad at me. It was the usual you didn't call me. I understand what she wants but I did everything she asked me to do. I did call her. I told her I was going into town and that I'd be back in the early evening. She never said I had to call her back again to let her know exactly what I was doing. Does it even matter if I call her? Because honestly I'm not going to call to admit to misbehaving. Not that I could because I'm a good kid. What more does she want?! So after that little episode, I got the feeling that somewhere in life so far I took a wrong turn. How is it that I don't agree with my mom on absolutely anything? I can have discussions with her...sometimes, but...ugh. I still don't think she trusts me and that hurts because I've never done anything wrong. I get good grades and hang with good kids. I live in a very small town and I've always let her know if I was going to be home really late or if I was going to the next town over. I just don't know how to handle her. When I go to college she'll probably expect me to call ALL the time and I won't.
Ymrys · Wed Aug 16, 2006 @ 06:59am · 0 Comments |
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I feel rather hopeless today because I read my horoscope for the month of September. I don't usually follow astrology but this one scares me because I know it's true.
I can't decide whether or not I'm eager for school to start. Sure summer's getting boring, but once it ends I won't see him again for a really long time, possibly ever. That saddens me.
Ymrys · Thu Aug 10, 2006 @ 08:02pm · 0 Comments |
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I feel separated. Mind, body, soul, society etc...nothing is working together.
Ymrys · Fri Jul 07, 2006 @ 05:50am · 0 Comments |
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So I spent some time being semi-angry. Today I became happy again. Today I took some steps and today I decided that tomorrow will not be another today. I'm going to pick up the phone, go into town, and do something. And after this chunk of "off days" and business I'm not going to let the rest of the summer pass the way it has so far.
Ymrys · Thu Jul 06, 2006 @ 07:14am · 0 Comments |
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I'm terribly sorry but I just don't understand |
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I know only two people at the most read this occasionally if at all so I'm going to post here instead of somewhere else.
I just feel so involuntarily sad right now. I got back from Florida a few days ago. Not a fun trip so I'm glad to be home, but I just feel so tired, and sad and occasionaly annoyed, frusterated or lonely. I feel unmotivated and dull. The world just seems so unappealing. I've gone and hung out with my friends but it just doesn't seem as fun as I remember it being during school. Maybe my summer will pick up. Afterall, I got a job and that's what I wanted wasn't it? I just don't understand. I don't want to feel the way I do but it seems completely unavoidable and incurable. So it's only been two weeks since school let out but already everything and everyone seems so distant and so changed and there I am standing on the side of the road going "when did this happen?" I used to feel so in control and now everything is uncertain. I hate uncertain.
cheese_whine cheese_whine cheese_whine cheese_whine cheese_whine cheese_whine cheese_whine cheese_whine
Ymrys · Sat Jul 01, 2006 @ 01:53am · 0 Comments |
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I'm leaving...on a jet plane |
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Tis true. In two days I'll be in sunny Florida! And by sunny I mean terribly, unbearably hot and humid and surrounded by relatives who will all want me to talk about my bf because chances are my mom has talked to all of them and they're poised and ready to interrogate me and report back to her. Oh well. I can either deny everything or tell wildly exaggerated stories. A better option would be to just tell half truths. Example: Once we built a fort in my room and he spent the night. Whole Story: There were five other people present and in the end he slept downstairs on the coach.
Half truths it is! Those are fun. I use them a lot.
All in all though, a better alternative would be for my relatives to visit me. The weather is better and they've never been up to visit in all the years I've lived here.
Ymrys · Tue Jun 20, 2006 @ 06:24am · 0 Comments |
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I'm listening to Canadian Rose(Blues Traveler) and I just had random flashback to the first time I ever heard this song. I was sitting on the bench by the metal shop of my high school. It was an awkwardly vivid flashback too. So much so I had to make a whole journal entry out of it.
I'm now listening to Yours, a very pretty song. Also brings back memories. Memories of forts, late night games of german spotlight, and Co-ed sleepovers.
Ymrys · Sat Jun 17, 2006 @ 06:56am · 0 Comments |
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