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Do you remember when you tried to eat my soap but I didn't let you? That D&D session with Shannon was amazing! Josh, Shannon, and I had a great time. You did too. I have a get well card that you signed. I don't remember what I was sick with, but you called me a hobbit, said you would eat my soap, and then you addressed yourself as gnomey. Josh was master dwarf. It was pretty cool. Do you remember Josh's birthday cake that year? I tried to make a gnome on it, and I called him lem at the same time. It was awesome. I wish you were still here to play D&D again. I just wish you were still here. I miss you so much, and every day is so hard to get through. I want to see you walk into the room again. You had a way to light up a room when you entered it. I miss how loud you were. I miss playing chess in your room. I miss watching Smallville in your room. I miss hanging out with you in your room and telling you to clean it. Do you remember when I wrote on your list of numbers on the wall telling you to clean your filthy room? I wish I could tell you that in person, but your room is collecting dust, and I'm sorry, but we've put some storage stuff in there. We don't really know what to do with it. What should we do? I would like to practice guitar in there, read in there, just rest in there. I'm sorry the devil took you away. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you the one time that you needed me the most. I wasn't that great of a sister to you at times; I should have been a better person than I was. Now I can't get you back. I know you're happy in heaven, but I want to pull you back down, un-cremate you, and tell you just how much I love you. I love you with every fiber that I am. I think of you always, and that will never ever change. I'm so sorry about what happened. I want to fix that day and change things. I want you here. Mom and Dad want you here. Mom isn't so bad now. She's still a little crazy sometimes, but she's trying really hard to be a good mom now. We all miss you. I would do about anything to have you back. Know how much you mean to me and all of us. I love you gnomey, justin, soap eater, frodo, my little brother. I hope to see again someday.
your sister,
jessica (the hobbit)