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here I am again though I don't know how long it will be this time. Just thought I would write sumthing so you people know I am alive and well
well bye
~scorps

Well there you see it
all mods signatures wanted

here I am back but this time I have nothig to write. so this is all I will say.
Eagles lost Patriots won. I'm sooo happy.
-Scorps

Ok, so I am trying to get into the habit of writing in at least one of my online things whether it be xanga or here on Gaia. Lets see a brief update on how I have been spending my time...

-Found love, happiness and all of that other stuff. We have been together for 4 months it will be five on the 18th.

-I'm in the Microsoft Youth IT Challenge in Philadelphia. Won an MP3 player and met another Philly gaian in the process. Hopefully my group will make it to the national competition in NY.

-I'm in the process of being ignored by most of the people I met here on Gaia.

-I now go to public school and I am being used by everyone in my class just because I am at the top of the class. (If it wasen't for that I am sure everyone there would still be afraid to talk to me because, they think I am weird and they are scared of me.)

-I broke my friends heart when he told me he loved me and I told him I had a b/f. He said he is attracked to my evil.

-I went to spencers for the first time!! (If you've never been there I suggest you go. I luv that place.)

-And I am in the process of studing for my AP Enviornmental Science midterm. (Really big deal even though I don't plan on ever studing environmental science after this is done, but the class will give me college credit. One can never have too much college credit...)

-And how could I forget the bad stuff. I swear I just want to die. I hate myself!! I can't stand being the one everyone turns to when they have a problem. Cuz when I have one (which seems to be all the time now) everyone is gone. I hate being smart, I don't want anymore guy sticking their heads out of their car windows to try and talk to me. I daon't want to be the one in constant trouble because of something my cousin or litle sister did. I am tired of everyone expecting more out of me just because they think I can do better or try harder. I can't take it. People always expecting me to be the one ready and waithing with a smile on y face to obey their every wish and command. Faking false happiness and confidence just so that I don't have to hthe fake concern and hear them say "I am always here if you need someone to talk to," because they are not. I just want to be left alone, I'm not perfect if you people didn't know so just leave me the hell alone. I can't do everything and I don't want to be blamed for other peoples kids. GOD!! Just give me a break for 5 mins. so that I can have some time to myself. I'm not your little slave and I never will be. I don't want to hear anymore false promises as you run from my mother with your new family. Just leave me the hell alone. I no longer wish to be apart of your life just like you weren't for 16 years of my life. Just take your new family and go. You think just because you show up 16 years later everything will be fine?? That you can just pop in and out of my life when you please. I'm tried of it!! I refuse to put on a fake smile for you any longer. I refuse to act like none of it matters anymore because your here now. If you want to be in my life now you should have been there 16 years ago when I needed you. Do you know all of the hurt I felt as I was growing up missing you wishing you were there for me but all the time you were out with some other chick and her kids. I HATE YOU. JUST STAY AWAY FROM ME FOREVER...

I feel strangely better now. Now if only I can just take all of these feelings off of paper and say them. That is the real challenge. Ok, you people know enough about my life for one night.
bi bi

It's not fair. the one person on here that I want to claim most has finally decided to be claimed and picked someone else crying crying crying . I hate this so much, why not just kill me crying crying crying . I'm gonna go cry in my dark corner now.

Hey look I get back on and now I have a journal to write in. Gaia really is changing which is good to know. So I wonder how it is when they are fixing it up. Is it still really slow when they do maintanence?? Doo they still do it every night?? Man I got to get back on more often.

So how are all of my dear lovely friends?? Did ya miss me?? come on you know you did, no need to try and hide it. I missed yall to so there I said it. Life without the internet really sucks. Hey next time I write I will put up my latest poem so that all of you people interested can read and review. ~I hope we get gold for the journal, (random side thought)~ So do we get gold for the journal since you get gold for eveything.

So how many of my many friends are back in school and ready for summer to come already?? Cuz I know I am. Just 1 more year after this one and I am in college ~time flies so fast~. I can't wait I will be out on my own in another state, maybe even another country. I have been thinking of going to Temple in Tokyo for college. So what do you people think about that?? I hope I do it would be so much fun. My friend has already been accepted and I hope I will be.

So right now I am in my last class for the day internship only cuz I don't have a job. Man I have been looking since the beginning of this year and I'm still not imployed crying . So I think I will go now and get back to work ~even though I don't wanna but you gotta do what you gotta do~. So I will try to be on tomorrow same time same place.

~end