Wow...I just lost my whole rambling post...Something else to add to my list.
I geuss there's nothing better to do then start again.
Alright...Let's see. How did I begin again? Well...I geuss that doesn't matter...So, here I go.
It would seem that this collection of ramblings has become a monthly project. Which suits my needs just find. But, as it seems this is the most 'interesting' topic I can come up with for this month, I have chosen to share it with you.
It has been a 'craptastic' week...To put things lightly. And before any passerby of my little ramblings decides to comment with something along the lines of, 'You're just complaining! You're life is not half as bad as mine!'. I would like to state that this is probably true.
I never claimed my life was hard, tough, or worse than someone else's. I will admit that I do not have half the stress I'm sure others around me do...But, as it is my journal and also that I am PMSing, I'm going to get everything off my chest.
The reasons why this has been such a 'pleasant' week are as follows:
1. It started snowing while I was at work. I do enjoy the snow, however this is not with the possibility that I may get trapped in a location I would more then rather not spend any extra time at.
2. After closing everything out and up, I received another customer who seemed too preoccupied to notice it was snowing rather bad out. I took his payment, but since the safe was now closed, I placed it in a secure top drawer and left a note on the main computer detailing its location, only to find this same payment five days later when I returned to work.
I was also confronted by my supervisor who was prying answers out of me about the weekend. If you have ever noticed, when someone is fishing for a particular answer, you can usually tell.
And despite the fact that the thought had crossed my mind, I never have and never will steal money.
3. I had not heard from two of my best freinds after receiving a call from one of them informing me that they were both drunk off of jello shooters.
After finishing this breif 'conversation', I had a rather restless night, for I was not sure where they were or whether they were safe.
Since I have now heard from one of them who furthered the details, as best they could, of that night, I am able to say this with all conscience clear...Hypocrites!
4. Another one of my close freinds is upset with me...I'm not really sure how I caused any of this to happen, but the only solution I can see is to apologize for whatever I may have done wrong and hope that she reads this.
5. I discovered that I did not do as well as I could have with my grades during the last semester...I am holding no one but myself accountable. Though, I have been wondering now if college is what I am cut out for.
6. My parental units seem to have their own issues this month...
7. I had been looking forward to being able to see my boyfreind this weekend...Only to find out that niether of us knew what was going on. Due in part to the lack of communication, which is a fault of both parties.
8. I have also been double thinking everything lately. My commitments and loyalties to others, the ties/relationships I keep with them, the decisions and choices I have and will make in my life and ultimately the direction in which it is currently going in. Which has lead to restless nights and dark cirlces...
9. And lastly the fact that I had already typed all of this up...Only to have my connection lost.
But, none of this seems to matter anymore...For I have come to realize a few things.
Despite the disagreements I might be having with my freinds, if it is meant to last, then our freindship will transcend these difficulties. The only thing I can think to do is talk with them...And take responsibility for my actions.
Eventhough they do receive the brunt of my rantings and short temper, my family is still supportive of whatever decisions I make. They have, they do and they will always continue to love me.
And even after I yelled at him for about an hour straight, my boyfreind continued to listen to my rantings. Everything and anything I could think of was brought up, with the occasional rewording of his sentences to make them sound as degrading and hurtful towards me as I could make them, bringing the comment, 'You're really scaring me right now' into a whole new light. But, even after all that...He still loves me.
These last few bits of information are the only things that matter out of this whole post and ultimately out of this whole month.
So, I geuss in conclusion, I just want to say that I am sorry and...Thank you. And I hope that this simple gesture is understood.
10-4 from car 106. Over and out.
YokoshimaNeko Community Member 
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