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two of my friends and this guy i know are saying that i jump from guy to guy. this is not true. i can be single for months and not go with someone. the thing is i dont talk that much of mie being single. at first i can like a guy but if he doesnt have interest then i just leave it alone. then there's someone else eventually.


i say this bc in my last entry i talked of jim. i liked jim a lot. but he didnt feel the same way. fortunately my ex joey did and so now we are dating. the 15th shall be our first month.


but i miss one person very much; it's like he's really busy nowadays and i dont want to get into his way, but i wouldnt mind talking to him por telefono again. i wrote this on the 7th. not that he'd ever read this, but still.


February. (2.7.06)

when i mirror myself, i see this girl
who used to be ...
happy.
who used to be
infatuated
with only
you.

when i search you, i see this boy.
guy.
man.
i see this man that was once the boy who took my other half.
maybe i didn't see it then,
but when we
departed,
i felt
alone.

only three years separated,
soon to be four.
maybe we'll
see it.
maybe we'll see it through again.
although there's high doubt
within
me.
at times i'm waiting for you.
waiting.
hoping.
remembering.
at times i'm waiting for you to return.
if you come back, maybe your stay will never end.

i was happy with you.
was it our last goodbye?
i hope not.

our three-year separation
soon to be four.
it will extend no further than that
but maybe
our
feelings
will.



*for Justin Lee Harper* .....(several reasons)