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Many wonder why im so cold and heartless all the time, well its time to share what has brought me to basically shut myself off from the rest of the world socially...

I have many experiences that can be blamed for this but i believe the roots can be found when i was all of seven years old. It was a summer day at Gibson ranch in beautiful elverta California. I remember this day vaguely yet descriptively...

I was with my uncle, his girlfriend, my mother, and my father. We all went there to explore the back of the park which was not fenced and was absolutely endless it seemed like at the time.

We had been at the stream looking for rocks when i got a bit bored i believe and ran off into the field where i found the red sports car parked in the field as if someone someone drove it there mistakenly. curiosity had gotten the better of me and i approached the car carefree and that is when i made one of the worst mistakes of my life...

In the back of the car was a bag you put suits in that zips up and down, well it had been covered in what i thought were flies but in fact they were meat bees eating away at the corpse that had been left there to rot like some piece of meat...

I yelled for my mother and the next thing i remember was my family yelling for me to get away from the car...i had felt light headed so i went back towards the stream to be alone when i had fallen over what i thought to be a rock or branch of some kind. i was upset i had fallen so i picked the mysterious object up that i so carefree misanalysed yet again.

Before me in my hand was a severed foot of a human... that one experience at such a young age has scared me for life... as time went on i buried that day as a nightmare trying to escape it but eventually it ate at me and i told some of my friends at school...

Whomever i have ever told has deemed my experience as untrue and gone about with their life when all i needed was comfort from this experience, when i went to my parents about the experience they told me i was to young and that it was just a beehive in a car...but i knew better...

This is just one of my experiences that has turned me cold and heartless towards others throughout my life...yet i am trying to overcome it and be the kind and gentle soul very few have seen....