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so if anyones been wondering why i haven't been on in like forever, and when i am on its only for a few minutes. yea i'm sorry about it all. but i'm not on Colorguard and it taking a lot of my time. i like it, its a lot of fun. sooo once again i'm sorry i havn't been on in a while hope to talk to you all soon.

sooo.. heres a up date, the guy thats was giving me the problems cuz i had a huge crush on him finally asked me out... YAAAY... so yes i have a boyfriend... finaly... welll other then that its ok in a couples day i'm gonna brake down i know i am... i can just tell..... idk... May 9th is a bad day for me.. so if you know me... and im a mess on may 9th just don't try to cheer me up just say hey its ok.. and do whatever...

oo this isn't you my boy on here but there's this guy at my school and e flirt all the time and all my friends at are his friend too. say he likes me and then i asked him out cuz he's kind of shy. but he would answer me!! it was soo frusterating so i just stop and tryed to move on yet today me and him got out of most of are classes to help build a set for a play that im in. well we work great together and he flirted with me..... so now im even more confussed then i was.... Help me out here!!! why do guys suck??? i'll keep you posted on the guy though!!

I was in class bord, as usual, and stoped to wirte. not really knowing what i was really writing about.... well when i finished it and it was a poem about how this darkness grows within me. making me want to die or just give up. its been there ever sence may 9 2001. i hate that day. i lost my close, close friend to a stupid game of baseball. it was a freak attcident. im mean it happen about 3 years ago, and i still have nightmares of losing him.... i need Help. i don't know what to do i just wear a mask that most people don't know im wearing it inless i ask them. I just feel like almost everything i do, Is for what?? to be a good preson.... when will i somhign good happen and stay in my life....

yester day was my birthday. it was pretty cool i got to go to kikus. and i got sweet stuff. my friend nichol made it so cool she was like the only one that really cared that it was my sweet 16. i mean i can't blam anyone, its just that she made my day with her gift. making me a shirt so i can remember it forever::

ootay i have four days till me brithday. It should be a big deal but i just thinks its a brithday, nothing special at all. its my sweet sixteen. i guess i want to do somthing special but i just don't know what i want!! i just thinking im gonna wait till its warm then have a huge pool party but i ounder if anyone would show up!! well yea....................... this brithday is gonna stink!!

ook if you know me you know me as the hyper fun strong girl that would help anyone out if they deasurve it. but this... i don't know what you would call it.... phrase as been bugging me. "live *life* to your fulless!!!" what is life and how can we live it?? i mean im just trying to get through the day yet alone the lrest of my exsistence on this earth.

otay its a sunday, everything is normal or at lest whats normal for me.... i dislike my dad for he's never there for me when i need him and i think im trying to get a boy to replace him. is that sad or what??? well guys aren't everything but at my school its starts to get to ya everyone has some one, it feels except you its weird what ever got to go lata!!