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today i went to school. it was not cool. it was not a happy thing to do. it was not a fun thing to do. it was a good thing to do. it was what society expects me to do. it was what my mother wants me to do. it was what my mother sends hundreds of dollars on. it was not cool.

you know what i think? i think people shouldn't have to pay to make their children to be unhappy. i'm pretty sure they'd have more fun doing it themselves then giving money to someone else and have them do it. i think people should save their money and make their own children unhappy in more legal ways...since parents seem to have such an advanced outlook on things and seem to have a much firmer hand on their children then teachers or headmasters or any adult in a "learning" facility. plus, in the US (that's where i live unfortunatly), one can usually only hit or cause harm to a child if they are the legal guardian or parent of the child. then it's all downhill for kids then. the parents can have to star a leading roal in a porno vid as long as you keep your no longer virgin, dirty mouth shut and no body gets caught.

anyway, my day was on the fair side...as usual. today was the last day before spring break. i gaev everybody i knew a hug or chased them for one. i was still way, way, uber too shy to hug jesse though...-blush blush-...i had an odd fantasy about him again, today. i didn't get to finish it beause i noticed my pockts` insides were still there -if you know what i'm talking about (see choke by chuck paulahuinik...something...that's not how you spell it)-.

blah...me and alyssa played the hand-dino games again today. she's so cute...sort of boyich and annoying though. who i really want is samit...my god. she looks just like anzu but younger and my age. this is obveaously a sign...somewhere...someplace...someone like me there. kyle was adorable in science again. john was not as active because andy wasn't there...he's so gay....poor guy...i think i should start giving people my number so they can cunfess their homosexuality to me. he and andy would be hot together...i should tell they that after spring break ends. but look at me, i just started spring break today and i'm laready talking of ending it...that's a bad omen by the way. i'll ******** something up in my destiny like jynx it or something...but i don't really do it with that destiny crap anyway.

my mom forgot me at the shops again...i only waited for 46 minutes this time, though. i got somethign out of it...the lights at mission mall turn on at 6:45 pm...FYI.

i went out to dinner and felt uber stoned...or depress...or tired...or stoned. mayeb it had something to do with me writing more things in my diary about jess...i saw him at mission mall. i wrote down a couple of things and drew a portrait of him drawing something being ripped apart. i was looking from the railing a floor above him next to some asains, so i don't think he noticed me. his hair's getting longer again...is that somethign i should write down? maybe i should bump him sometime...and pat his hair real quick...then run away...ooooooooooohhhhhh! god dammit! i'm so shy! whee ! ojay, that's my one smilie for my one smilie limit. i can't do any more now. that might make my paragraphs less exciting...are they really?

this entry might should have been called in my rootbeer floating thoughts, maybe...(?) i wonder what jesse's doing...drawing probably. maybe he's at patricks house. john said he felt depressed and he didn't think patricks house would solve it...i giggled and suggested dirty thigns with patrick and john and other assortments of people john mentioned were going. man, oh man, he's soooooooooooooo gay. teehee. and that's hot...very sexy...orgam worthy almost, just not with him and patrick...more like kayvon and nathan...aw nathan. he's such a lucky b*****d to have a chic hotty goddess like samit follow him like a dog...dammit...i gotta stop falling for straight girls. it's going to seriously damage my relationship nerves when i get older...but...oh god, she's sooooooooo...orgasim worthy...i dunno what i'm saying. she's totally straight...i'm hurting on the inside now...deep in my chest, behind the cobwebs and i think in my nerveless, broken, bleeding, broken glass pieces stuck in, see-through, thin paper, dying...emo heart. I'M SORRY NATHAN! I'M SORRY I HAVE AND EMO HEART! PLEASE DON'T HATE ME! I WANT TO BE YOUR FRIEND!

...i was judged a lot today...more people then usual made fun of me for liking girls and being a veggie...like, about two dozen more. they sort of came in groups...or waves. insulting hurting waves. i blocked them out easy enough and thought about kittens and girls and gay boys and chocolate and my stauking diary...things i always think about. it's so easy to control what comes into my head now-a-days...is that a good sign of something, or is my mind weakening from everything i've done my entire life to it...? it too is made of easily flamable, thin paper i guess with glass stuck in it...but i also guess on the inside it's the strongest rock ever in the universe. just like my personalities, layered i mean...strong layers mostly underneath.

ki seems to be over-powering ryuuze lately. in fact, ryuuze is probably a little under stella in stregth now...i dunno what happen to her. i think this sudden fall and change in power is what's getting me depressed...mayeb it's something else. i miss ryu...i think i was closest to her these past few monthes. maybe my other personalities plotted somthing. but that's rediculaous, i'd know. i mean, we all have the same body, don't we? i shoudl write down a conversation some time. ki is more demanding and interesting now. she's so cute now, too.

you know what i should do? i should make a match-up board for all my male friends...yeah...here's a rough draft, i might finalize it later:

kayvonxnathan jakexkayvon jakexnathan (either one works) jakexspike spikexkyle (jesus, moses, joaseph...that's definatly one of the bets ones...maybe even the very best one of all...spike and kyle, man...almost all the way...-pant pant-) jamiexjake andyxjohn blonde-skatersboyxbrunette-skaterboy (that's a pretty good one too)...i think i better stop. i have to round up all my thoughts and friends.

porn and hentai are both discusting...i really don't get off to either, or would ever anyway, even if i haven't seen any for about 5 years. real people get me off...and, well, sasuke of course.

i think i'll end up here. i'm sure to get some lots many gold for this...it's a reasonable size and lenth. love and peace, kiddos...don't have sex! i love you all very much...please, thankyou, your welcome, and goodbye! -dances off-

-EDIT-

okay, here's the finalized version of those gay boy pair-ups:

heart kayvon x nathan heart andy x john heart blonde-skaterboy x brunette-skaterboy heart jamie x loui heart jake x nathan (sorry nathan...you have to be shared) heart spike x kyle (that one's the best one) heart

... xd weee! 3nodding yes yes...very good! whee weee! 4laugh GAYS BOYS ROCK MY UNIVERSE!

-wink- peace

"My first anime was... Pokemon...
It was like an addiction, I couldn't help myself. Luckily, some strange gothic girls who slit their wrists told me about Sailor Moon, so I started watching that and got hooked.
Then Cardcaptors came. That was probably the first anime I ever saw that I seriously loved and ended up buying all the books, all the episodes, and both movies. Cardcaptor Sakura was the first anime I ever watched that turned me on and realized... "Hey, there's more stuff out there... wierd... "

this is so sad...this girl needs help. be her friend and show her the light:
Almighty Tallest Purple

...teehee...i am too kind... sweatdrop Uchiha Knux

one day...in the late, mid 80's...i was in my early, late twenties...i had never kissed a boy, and i was still sleeping with mom. -pats seat next to myself-.

david, i need gold...i need it so much i'm reduced to quoting movies; not that hedwigis a necessarily bad movie...it's actually a pretty good movie. it's just that i'm always getting upset with littler, younger people for quoting everything everyone says. that's probably one of the reasons i don't talk a lot and i'm losing my voice...it kinda sucks, really. but i don't talk that much anyway, so maybe if i go mute, it won't have as great an effect on me as it would on a personage who talks a whole lot...like littler people -smashes the littler people-.

notice how i said "david up there. i say the saviors and crap of all sort of religions to confuse people. i don't like how people stario-type everybody as christian. so when you sit down, they're all like... would you say grace please? pray to our lord, please? no eating till we thank god, please! why do they bother saying please all the time when they're not asking a question. i'm sure other religions have this happen to them...not to dis all christians...but i've just had so many of those damned christian grace situations that i feel it's necessary to write in my floating thoughts. okay, i'm done ranting almost...bump!

i'm opne to any and all donations, as always.

today i went to school in the real world...my mother woke me up uber early and threw me in the shower...i missed the bus but she took me to starbucks and i found an ace card on the ground. is that a bad omen or a good one... sweatdrop ? oh well...i;m in second hour right now...i think i'm supposed to be working on a newspaper thingy...i dunno. this place is a lot funner. i'm free to all donations, as always. PEAcE!

P.S. notice how i'm still in nothign but my underclothes (doesn't dare say underwear...-shudder-). feel pity for me...

Ok...umm...this will be my first ever journal sweatdrop ...online anyway. i'm actually goign to make an effort to keep this one regular.

About me, i guess... whee : i am a kitty boy! my love is Uchiha Sasuke from the anime NARUTO...please don't incourage all that gay fan fic, fan art s**t... evil ...I SHALL EAT YOUR CHILDREN IF YOU DO... twisted ...even though i am a vegetarian. but you will make me... stressed ...sad if you do. crying ! oh well, i guess i can't pursuade your tainted minds and unvirgin eyes. sweatdrop ...i shall have to use my flare cannon twisted ! HERE I COME AND GET IT! heart THE BATTLE DEFENDING LOVE heart ! scream scream scream

love and peace_V_I_C_E_
(sorry for all the smilies...i know that's annoying. i just went a little crazy.)