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Honestly I wish I was dead. I’m a friendless twisted and sick freak. I’m scarred from blades cutting into my flesh on the outside and scarred from betrayals and abandonment on the inside. I’m a grown ******** woman with a crush on a 19 year old. Thought I came to terms with my sexuality? Nope not quite as bisexual as thought, more pansexual it turns out. And do I really need a ******** gender identity crisis at 28? No not really, I’m already ******** up enough without adding that to the mix as well. I never leave my house because I don’t trust anyone, I miss human contact and cuddling, I wanna feel safe and happy but I don’t even know what that feels like anymore. I’m tired of everything: the fight, the work, exhaustion, the twisted feeling of unrequited love, the nerves of restarting something I haven’t done in seven years. I hate the feeling of darkness, of staring into a black spiral of darkness knowing it’s just doing to pull me down deeper and deeper until I can’t, won’t fight back.