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Oh, how I've missed you, Ms. Tilty, bebe. *snuggles her main*
Still waiting on my two mule accounts, but I'm SUPER glad to have my main back up and runnin'. <3
Ms. Tilty · Wed Apr 09, 2008 @ 04:21am · 1 Comments |
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Just a lil recap of recent things going on so I can fill everyone in...should they want to know where I stand...&.&
Financially: A lil tight on cash still, but I'm gettin' by.
Family: I'm very close to completely severing all ties with my mother's side of the family. LONG story there but...she's finally gotten to the point where I just can't take her bullshit anymore. She can't treat her children like they're her 'babies' only when it's convenient for her to do so, anymore. Still as close as ever to everyone else, though. Daddy, sister, brother...we're good. heart
Physically: Had an ultrasound today to check my upper torso. I've been having pains and we think it's my gall bladder. I get the results Monday so...I'll be sure to keep everyone posted about what's going on there. &.&;;
Romantically: I looovvveeeee me some Darren. Mmm. heart I miss Darren/What? terribly but we talk on the phone every night if we can and see each other when we can so...s'goin' good, yoz. Goin' good. heart
Career: Work's been a b***h. I've been SO busy. Seriously? They don't pay me enough to do the amount of work I do. I'm sure many people think that about their positions but when my manager's throwing me between 5 different departments because there is either little or NO coverage in them and *I* can cover them then adds on another 45 minutes of overtime to my existing hour of overtime for the week...AND tells me I can't ask for Saturday off (to go with the Friday I had today...since I was gonna drive to Delaware to see a certain someone) because they have a new goal for sales and they will even write people up for calling out...I get a lil peeved, alright? Guh. They need to stop doing this s**t to me or at least pay me more to deal with it all. It's rediculous. --.--
Internet-wise: I've been having connection problems so I haven't been on much, but I've also been fairly busy. I'm still trying to collect as much art as I can, when I can...but my funds are getting a lil lower than I'd want them to be, these days. XP Freebies, please kthnxbai? XD ANYPOO, things are still pretty peachy dispite my lack of being on, ne? Gotta love your Tilty. wink
Euhm...anything else? I dunno. If you have questions about anything, PM me, ne? heart
Yeah, that's my lil update...thinger...thing? Stuffs. Mmm. <33
EDIT: Gall bladder is a-ok! It was either a gall stone I already passed or just muscle problems, apparently. Yay!
Ms. Tilty · Sat May 12, 2007 @ 05:53am · 0 Comments |
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I'm in a very tight financial situation. I have bills to pay that I can't really cover. It sucks REALLY, REALLY bad because...I CANNOT afford to go into even more debt than I'm already in (trying to pay off my car, that is, among other things) since I've been trying to get some college classes in and I won't be able to afford classes while covering these stupid bills that have just gotten...crazy.
SO, here's the deal, I really need money and if anyone has some spare cash, think we can talk? I'm not the best artist but I take real life comissions so if you want art from me and have some money, please, please...let me know. Because I can REALLY use the help!
PM me or comment here and I'll get back to you as soon as possible.
Thank you for your time. sweatdrop
Ms. Tilty · Sat Apr 21, 2007 @ 05:33am · 2 Comments |
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Saw this in someone's journal and wanted to fill it out. >.>
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Put an 'X' to the things you've done...Then copy it and fill it out for yourself (X) smoked a cig (X) Kissed a member of the same sex ( ) crashed a friend's car ( ) stolen a car (X) skipped school ( ) slept with a co-worker ( ) slept with more than 15 people ( ) been called a slut ( ) had a one night stand ( ) had more than just one, one night stands ( ) lied about how many people you've slept with ( ) lied about it so you can just sleep with someone ( ) slept with someone you don't even know their name (X) seen someone die (X) been in love (X) been dumped (X) shoplifted ( ) been fired (X)been in a fist fight (X) snuck out of your parent's house (X) had feelings for someone who didn't have them back ( ) been arrested (X) made out with a stranger (X) gone on a blind date (X) had a crush on a teacher (X) been to Canada ( ) been to Mexico (X) been on a plane ( ) thrown up in a bar ( ) purposely set a part of yourself on fire (X) had sushi (X) been snow boarding ( ) in an abusive relationship (X) taken painkillers (X) love someone or miss someone right now (X) laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by (X) questioned your heart ( ) been obsessed with post-it notes (X) squished barefoot through the mud (X) been lost (X) been to the opposite side of the country (X) swam in the ocean ( ) felt like dying (X) cried yourself to sleep (X) played cops and robbers (X) recently colored with crayons/colored pencils/markers (X) sung karaoke (X) paid for a meal with only coins (X) done something you told yourself you wouldn't (X) made prank phone calls ( ) laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose (X) caught a snowflake on your tongue (X) danced in the rain ( ) written a letter to Santa Claus (X) been kissed under a mistletoe (X) watched the sun rise with someone you cared about (X) blown bubbles ( ) made a bonfire on the beach (X) crashed a party (X) gone roller skating (X) had a wish come true ( ) humped a monkey (X) worn pearls ( ) jumped off a bridge (X) screamed p***s in class (X) ate dog/cat food (X) told a complete stranger you loved them (X) kissed a mirror (X) sang in the shower (X) have a little black dress (X) had a dream that you married someone (X) glued your hand to something ( ) got your tongue stuck to a flag pole ( ) kissed a fish (X) worn the opposite sex's clothes ( ) been a cheerleader (X) sat on a roof top (X) screamed at the top of your lungs ( ) done a one-handed cartwheel (X) talked on the phone for more than 6 hours (X) stayed up all night (X) picked and ate an apple (X) climbed a tree ( ) had a tree house ( ) are scared to watch scary movies alone (X) believe in ghosts ( ) have more then 30 pairs of shoes ( ) worn a really ugly outfit to school just to see what others say ( ) gone streaking ( ) played ding-dong-ditch (X) been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on (X) been told you're hot by a complete stranger (X) broken a bone (X) been easily amused ( ) caught a fish then ate it ( ) made porn (X) caught a butterfly (X) laughed so hard you cried ( ) cried so hard you laughed (X) mooned/flashed someone (X) had someone moon/flash you (X) cheated on a test (X) have a Britney Spears CD (X) forgotten someone's name (X) slept naked (X) french braided someone's hair (X) gone skinny dipping ( ) been kicked out your house
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If anyone is curious to hear details on any of the ones I've checked that I've done, you're welcome to PM me and ask me. smile
Ms. Tilty · Mon Jan 22, 2007 @ 02:25am · 3 Comments |
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My brother's getting mmarrrriiieeeeddd! EEEEEEEE! X3
I get to be a bridesmaid for Becky (the fiance)...sweeeetttt. <33
It's about time! XD They've been together for like...7 years. :'D
Sooo...congrats to them, yay!
Ms. Tilty · Sun Dec 17, 2006 @ 01:50am · 4 Comments |
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Blood Test Results. Wewt. |
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No, I'm not dying. XD
Anyway, found out why I've been so freakin' tired, right? Apparently, I'm INCREDIBLY anemic right now. I'm going to have to take prescription strength iron suppliments for like...1-2 months. My iron count was a few points lower than what they consider low in the medical field so my doctor was worried. Also, I have to miss more work. sweatdrop My white blood cell count was also a bit high which leads my doctor to believe there might be a slight infection somewhere. O.o;;
So...don't worry, don't worry! At least I know what's wrong! And it's nothing too serious...yeah... sweatdrop
I'll get better in a month or two, ne?
Ms. Tilty · Tue Oct 10, 2006 @ 10:31pm · 3 Comments |
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******** traffic. I hate this s**t. |
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Sooo, yeah...I had an important doctor's appointment today at 4:30 PM and I MISSED it. Why? I left class early to give myself plenty of time to get to the appointment but traffic leaving the area wasn't like it was coming in. I sat in traffic for over an hour because it was one lane for most of the main road...which caused me to miss this appointment.
I'm extremely upset because this was an important appointment that I really couldn't afford to miss and ended up missing anyway. Why, you ask? Well, see, I've been on/off sick for a while now, right?
I had a bad cold one week...then was feeling better the next week...then the week after that my cold came BACK and WORSE where I was coughing up phlegm. Went to the doctor's and found out I had pneumonia which is why I wasn't getting better. Then, I had to take antibiotics for another week and try to recover from being sick after that. Well, shortly after that I caught a stomach virus while I was still very weak and that kept me pretty screwed up.
So, I haven't really been sick in like...a couple of weeks now...but I'm still recovering. I'm extremely weak, tired, you name it...for most of my days. Which leaves work to be a problem for me. I go and try to carry out a shift only to find that I physically can't handle it.
I'm drained both physically and emotionally right now and it's really taking a toll on my wellbeing and my freakin' job. I had a conference call from my bosses the other day pretty much giving me an ultimatum where I either get a medical leave of absense from my doctor or I just...come to work ALL THE TIME. This is a REALLY hard thing because my doctor might think I don't need a leave of absense which leaves me pushing myself at work which will probably only make my condition worse. It's just...I've been like this for so long now that it's hurting the company (Pfft) and they need to take steps toward fixing the problem since I AM a full time employee. They don't want to push me back to part time and they don't want to fire me. Because not only do I need the money, but they need ME pretty damn bad...and this is the only job I have right now. My only source of income which is to aid me in my financial situation (Which translates to: I NEED this money because I'm in debt right now and have to pay things off as soon as I can.)
I just...don't know what I'm supposed to do. I've been trying as hard as I can. Anyone at my job can tell you that I haven't been myself. I don't know what to do about it. I think it's because I've never really been given the time to properly recover, ya know? I've been pushing to try to get back to a regular schedule before I've been ready for it...which makes me wonder if that's why I'm so run down? All I know is...things are very stressful, very frustrating...and there's not a damn thing I can really do about it. On top of all this stress I have EMOTIONAL stressed that's been going on, for example: Financial trouble College/Work - Balancing the two Suicidal friend Uncle in the hospital Aunt getting a divorce Low Self-esteem friend that comes to me for EVERY problem she has Father demanding things that take up all of my free time even after a full day of work
...and s**t like that.
I don't know how much more I can take but really, I'm just very, very worried about my job. I can't afford to have anything happen with my current status but...we'll see what happens. We'll see...
Ms. Tilty · Thu Oct 05, 2006 @ 10:44pm · 3 Comments |
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REPOSTED: COMISSION LIST AS OF 02/11//07 |
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This is an UBER important entry, people. My life is SO damn busy that I have to cut down on my comissions severely.
Maybe when my life gets less busy, in the future, you're welcome to try again.
I apologize SO much for having to do this but it'll be unhealthy for me if I don't. I hope you all understand.
If your name is NOT on the list and you'd like to be on the list...there are very few ways to get on right now...
1. If you can bribe me REALLY well or offer real money for a com. PM ME! 2. If you've technically already paid me for my services and I just haven't followed through. LET ME KNOW! PM ME! 3. If you have already given me your half of an art trade and I haven't given you your's but forgot to put you on the list. LET ME KNOW! PM ME!
Ze list of peepol to draw for:
~*Freebies*~ Tabi Kat, Chbi29angel, Hyousei, AsiagoCheese, Dlars - Whenever I can Cajanic - Whatever I feel like Whenever I can
~*Trades*~ Songjewel - Full body, original character - ON HOLD Blood Moon Knights - ON HOLD MoroMaru - CGed COUPLE image w/David Bowie XD - Working On
~*Comissions*~ Alteau - Couple OC, full body CG - $50 - Slowly getting it done! Lord Fausto - 50k Half Body - Working on. Scorpina - 55k Half Body MA - Working on. -->Magivolve: Bipolar @ OC Couple Half Body CG - ??? -->Magivolve: Captain Vyse Shadowfox @ Half Body CG - 30k mulla -->Magivolve: spam.exe @ Full Body CG - 200k mulla
~*Auctions*~ Mivaelianyn + JustPlainJoe - CGed Bust Shot, Couple - Working on.
----->Any questions, comments, or something I forgot that should really be on this list...PM ME and let me know.
--> Last update: 02/22/07
Ms. Tilty · Wed Sep 27, 2006 @ 07:28pm · 0 Comments |
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This cycle needs to break.
We talk...we argue...he's stubburn, I'm stubborn...he's immature and unwilling to admit he's wrong with things...unwilling to let go like I've been trying to and apparently am not allowed to...
He tells me he loves me, misses me, wants to hear from me...then tells me he wants to stop this feeling he has which is completely contradictory to all that. And every time I've let him back into my life I end up a sobbing mess. It's all bullshit that I thought I was over and one with, trying to cut off ties so I could move on (No, not run away OR forget...just MOVE THE ******** ON)...and I can't. I just can't. I block him, he messages me on a new name...I say two words...he talks and talks and gets me to converse with him...and this is how I end up. A mess. Why? He wants to resolve things but runs away before I can put in my two cents? Is he stringing me along to KEEP me talking to him? What?? I don't...ya know, I really don't know what to do with him. I try to let go and it's just...he finds ways not to let me...
Anyway, for anyone that knows of the history with Paul...here's the convo we had tonight. Please, please...tell me if I was immature at all or if I was irrational at all...and let me know what I might be doing that's wrong just so I can correct it. Him? You can point out emotional problems with him, too, if you wan't...but I already know those...
If you DON'T know the history with Paul and would LIKE to know...PM me. It's a long story, but if you really wanna hear it, I'll share it.
For the record...before this night, he had caught me once on AIM about a week ago. I said like...two words then he had to sign off after telling me how he didn't realize how much he had missed me and needed to go cry for a while. Before that? I hadn't spoken to him for NINE MONTHS. Because I shut him out and it was working well.
Note: HIS USERNAME HAS BEEN CHANGED. I don't want people to start bombarding him with messages. I know you guys love me but it's no one's place to harass him for my sake, ya know? So, yeah, I changed his AIM username and cut out the personal website link he posted, to protect him...not that I know why. :/
Paul: Shouldn't you be sleeping? TiltedHaloPs44: Perhaps. However, I don't have work tomorrow. Paul: Ahh. Your few moments of freedom. Paul: You're never on MSN anymore. sad TiltedHaloPs44: Correction: HARDLY ever. TiltedHaloPs44: I was on the other day, in fact. Paul: From 6:01AM to 6:03AM? Paul: I find MSN's a lot easier to express yourself with. TiltedHaloPs44: Meh. I was asked to come on AIM tonight by a friend that needed to talk. TiltedHaloPs44: That's usually how I get suckered on here. Paul: Ah. Suckered. Paul: Well... Paul: ::Coughs -LINK CUT OUT- Coughs :: TiltedHaloPs44: Do I WANT to read it? Paul: Do you walk about, work about, and sleep and never once think about how i'm doing? TiltedHaloPs44: That's not the point. Paul: Its just what I do. Paul: How i'm feeling. Paul: Things you may wonder, answered. Paul: and regardless- its still a question. TiltedHaloPs44: I'll read it... Paul: Not asking to read all 100+ entires. Paul: entries. Paul: Poke in, time to time. Paul: Leave me pretty little comments that make my stomach warm up. Paul: I love(d) you. I think I can get that much. TiltedHaloPs44: I wouldn't expect comments from me. Especially since my plan was to completely shut you out of my life...as difficult as that has proved to be... Paul: Was I such a horrible person? Paul: was my hold and kisses fake? Did I destroy you inside? Did I cast you away? TiltedHaloPs44: No. But you have some immature, irrational traits that weren't healthy for either of us. TiltedHaloPs44: I'm not saying I'm perfect, but I know my flaws and admit them. Paul: and you didn't stick around to help me fix them. TiltedHaloPs44: How could I when you never recognized them? Paul: Or just bare with me. Paul: Because i'm young and stupid! Paul: Just like you are, actualy. Paul: so I had an attitude mistake. TiltedHaloPs44: We're at different levels, you and I. Paul: Levels? Paul: Excuse me? TiltedHaloPs44: Maturity levels. Paul: That's what you think. TiltedHaloPs44: Whether you wish to admit it or not, your age DOES take place in this. TiltedHaloPs44: And I'm not the only one to witness it. Paul: Of course it does. Paul: No Paul: No one in the 'internets' matters. Paul: You point me towards a friend of mine in this city. Paul: and they tell me that. Paul: i may believe it Paul: Grab some idiot from a chatroom and i'll ask for actual proof. TiltedHaloPs44: Well, you don't listen when I say it. TiltedHaloPs44: but hell, your best friends from YOUR town will be biast Paul: i'll have you know that mere months after that I was a changed man. Paul: I had to sell my car. We didn't have electricity or even gas. Paul: We barely lived through it. Paul: By the grace of God I made it out of that perdicament Paul: and as soon as I did. Paul: I had a sister-like figure taken away from me by some neonazi p***k. Paul: i am whatever you shape me to be. Whatever you let me be. Paul: You didn't want me. You let me deteriorate. TiltedHaloPs44: It's not a matter of wanting. Paul: Yes, yes it is. TiltedHaloPs44: It's a matter of needing and a matter of what's right. Paul: What did you want? Paul: -Want- TiltedHaloPs44: If I share that with you, I'll be talking to you for far longer than i planned to, here. Paul: i'll see you again, then. TiltedHaloPs44: One thing, Paul...what do you want from me, now? You know...we're BOTH changed people and with what's happened...it's not like we can ever be the same...EVER. So...what do you want me to say? What do you want from me, now? Paul: I want a feeling to go away. TiltedHaloPs44: If it's the feeling that comes to mind then how is talking to me going to help that, Paul? Paul: Like you said, we're on different levels of maturity Paul: You take the immature route of hiding and forgetting. Paul: I find it at the source and take care of it, like a person should. Paul: You listen to Boston? TiltedHaloPs44: You may see my decision as being immature but it's what I see as healthy. TiltedHaloPs44: I'm not hiding from anything. TiltedHaloPs44: I'm not forgetting, either. I can never forget...I'm just lettting go. Paul: Different levels. TiltedHaloPs44: *letting Paul: Break off evenly and cleanly. Paul: Don't leave a mess. Paul: on either end Paul: Boston- Something About You.
I have faith you'll put it to your ear. Paul signed off at 2:39:16 AM.
------------------ For the record...these are the lyrics to the song...
When I was younger I thought I could stand on my own It wasnt easy, I stood like a man made of stone
But there was something about you I want you to know It brought a change over me Its startin to show Ive got this feelin inside Gotta have ya, have ya, aint no good to hide
It isnt easy To show what Im feeling inside, girl It isnt easy I know, when you believe in a man like me
When I get angry I say things I dont wanna say I really mean it, I dont want to leave you this way
I couldnt help my reaction I want you to know I lose control over you I just wantcha to know Got this feeling inside Gotta have ya, have ya, aint no good to hide
It isnt easy To show what Im feeling inside, girl It isnt easy I k now, when you believe in a man like me
But there was something about you I want you to know It brought a change over me Its startin to show I got this feelin inside, gotta have you, have you Aint no good to hide.
It isnt easy To show what Im feeling inside, girl It isnt easy I know, to believe in a man like me Like me, cantch see I gotta gotta have you
But there was something about Yeah there was something about you.
Ms. Tilty · Wed Aug 23, 2006 @ 08:08am · 10 Comments |
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