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Everything you do that goes against what you are used to doing will be difficult. Just don't give I can tell you're trying. I am too.

i know this from experience. it truly IS an uphill battle, and one that has very few avenues of outside help. you need to accept there are some things you just can't change about yourself, and you need to find the positive in those things. take it from a fellow self defeater, easier said than done. i'm still working on it myself. another thing is take credit where it's due. when someone tells you that you're pretty, accept it as it's said. you're a beautiful person, who's overcome quite a few obstacles to get where you are today. and above all else, remember this. it's something my grandfather told me before he died. forget the past, because it's gone. try not to think about the future, for it's not here. think about today, and make the most of it.