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One fine day in August, I met him on GaiaOnline, David Hammond (known here as Kyle Riley.) I was going through some tough times, just months after being roughly let go by my previous boyfriend Will. At the end, it had been over a month and a half since I had talked to Will, and I was expecting that he was only just grounded the entire time. That soon changed one day when one of his friends told me that he had said to them that he wasn't going to talk to me ever again, until I "got the point." Needless to say that after being with him for a year and a half at this point, when he let me go this way, I was heartbroken.
Slightly after this happened, I started flirting with Matthew, and he'd flirt back. We had always had a bit of attraction between one another since we had met, back in 2005. So only naturally, I had wanted to be with him. He was a bit self-concious when he shouldn't have been, so of course I'd get annoyed and mad at him for it, but he'd make up for it in his happy off-the-wall self. I can't remember if I ever actually asked him out or not. I say I did. He says I didn't. But needless to say, we never started dating. It was just too hard for him at the time, and although frankly I was a little hurt, I understood his reasoning and didn't ask again.
While this whole thing was going on with Matt, there were people thinking that we were dating, even though we weren't. Kyle was one of them, but it didn't matter. I started talking to him more and more, and quickly started to learn more about him.
At times it seemed like he had a bad life, both online and in real life, and I just wanted to make my newly found friend happy, so I did everything I could. Kyle had been made to move several times as a child, being brought in to a different school and community every few years, and because of this, he was pretty shy. And I too had gone through this as a child, so I empathsized with him.
I can remember that one day I had been sat down at one end of the kitchen table in my home city of Lowell, Massachusetts, with my mother to my left side, my father on the other end. They broke it to me that things weren't working out between them, for numerous reasons, such as them arguing too much, and my father even stealing money and supplies from work and my mother not wanting to get involved (I remember this now, thinking back, though they obviously didn't tell me those things, at the age of eleven or so).
This started my horrible life of moving from place to place. I finished out the fourth grade in Lowell, and then I moved with my Mom in to a small apartment in Amherst, New Hampshire with my Godmother, her boyfriend, her son, and their two dogs; a less than ideal condition for such a small rundown, four room apartment. It was there that I started being a wallflower, after being ripped from everyone and everything that I had known deeply, and had to start the fifth grade in a new school. But of course everything couldn't be simple there, not in my life. I had been in the school for a few months, and I had started getting adjusted, and making friends, and then it happened, we got evicted.
That sent me back to my previous friends in Lowell, where we had to move back in with my father for a few months, and to finish off the rest of the fifth grade. But again I got excited when I should have known better. I walked in to the school where I used to know everyone, and was friends with lots of people, and found out that everyone had turned on me, and I had few friends left. Of course I sucked it up and survived, as I would have to do, and I pulled through the sixth and seventh grades nearly uneventful.
On second though, it might be worth pointing out that before the start of the seventh grade for me, we got kicked out of our apartment of seven years because the landlord had sold the place, and we ended up having to live in a hotel for three months. Over the course of those months, I was late nearly three out of every five days and risk getting a detention, because we had to drive about twenty-five minutes a day to and from school, since we were "living" in a different town, but I couldn't be put in the town's school system because we didn't legally reside there. Oh, and the massacures of September 11th, 2001 happened as well, which made everything going on feel that much more worse.
Then the unthinkable happened, my Dad announces that he, his new girlfriend from Maryland, and I, are moving to a quaint little town in Connecticut, called North Grosvenordale (pronounced Gro-ven-or-dale or Grove-en-or-dale.) Just wonderful I thought, a new town where I'll know no one, and can get made fun of. The first day of the eighth grade was hard for me as I expected, but I was pretty quiet and did what I was suppose to, so no one really bothered me, and the same went for the ninth grade, although I had made more friends with people by then.
Then came the tenth grade, and along with it, my first boyfriend. Thinking back now, it seems like it happened pretty quickly, but I had come out to a few friends, just days after another friend did. After a few things had been said, I found myself with a boyfriend. It was a different experience, considering we had to hide it from most of the school, and certainly the parents. But of course they eventually find out, actually after we had broken up, and I got a ration of s**t for my father about it. Ehh...Needless to say I didn't take too well to it, and eventually after weeks upon weeks of arguing, I got disowned, and sent to live with my mother and grandmother in Nashua, New Hampshire, an hour and a half away. It hurt for a little while, but eventually I found that it was a much better life for me, to be in a place where I was truely accepted.
I started the eleventh grade at Nashua High School North, naturally hesitant about going to school with over four thousand students combined. Eventually I learned that it wasn't a bad school, and I made a few friends, and did well. But then in the twelth grade, I got depressed about my grades (I didn't want to do my homework in the first place, and then when I started working and coming home late, I just wanted to relax and be with Kyle), and being picked on by a few people, so I skipped twenty something days of school, and dropped out (after crying to, and consulting with Kyle first, to make sure he was okay with it.) It sucked, yes, but I'm still happy with the choice to this day.
So clearly Kyle and had been through lots in our lives, and we had lots of bad experiences and memories to share, and that we did. I remember him telling him about how badly his past boyfriends had treated him, and it angered me a lot. Kyle is the sweetest and kindest person I know, who would ever want to (or be able to hurt him)? I, for one, vow to never hurt him, and if I do, I will do everything in my power to make it up to him.
We had fallen for each other, that was for sure. And after a few days of toiling with the idea, I asked him out, and he made the happiest man in the world that day when he said yes. Of course it hurts being in a long-distance relationship, but I promised him that some day that we will have to meet, and eventually we'll be living with each other. After months of torture and anxiouty, we decided that it was time to meet, and after a few kinks in the first few plans, it settled to me flying to Halifax on the 3rd of April, and leaving the 11th.
Meeting Kyle that week was easily the best thing I've ever experienced in my life, for countless reasons. If you even have to think why, you clearly don't know what he means to me. What do you know about me? There are simply no words that exist in any language to describe how much it meant for me to meet him that cold, yet fun filled week in April.
As the moment drew closer that I was going to first see him in person, the tension built within me. Would he love me as much as in person as he says he does online? Am I going to love him as much? Gawd, I hope we get along, and we don't get mad at each other. I hope we have lots of fun, and never get "bored" with each other. These were all things that were running through my head, that Wednesday.
Finally, the knock came on the door. He was there. I panicked a little more for a few seconds, and finally let them in. He was better looking than the two year old picture. Much better. And less shy too! As soon as he put down his luggage, he was clung to me, he wouldn't let go for anything, even in the presence of his Mom. If this is how he's going to act while we've got company, imagine how he'll act when we're alone, I thought. Moments later my thought was answered as he jumped in my lap and started kissing me, when his mother went in to the bathroom.
I couldn't believe it, was this real? Could we finally be together? I actually pinched both of us a few times, to make sure. But as soon as that started, it ended. Kyle jumped off my lap and made me just hold him, and we both sat on the couch giggling as his mother came out. I'm sure she knew what we did, but just didn't say it, because she laughed and told us to behave because she's there again.
I was all worried about meeting his family, because I was thinking that they wouldn't like me or something, for whatever reason. But surprisingly, his mother loved me, and I mean loved. She's just an incredible mother, and the nicest mother. She was a little hurt that Kyle felt he couldn't tell her about him and I, but that's partly due to his shyness in nature, and partly due to what happened when my father found out I was gay. But other that that, she was one-hundred percent cool with us dating, and she was extremely happy that Kyle had someone that made him so happy. She even told me (not offered) that I was to stay at their house with him instead of at a hotel the next time I visit Kyle.
As for the trip itself, it would normally be what I'd call a boring week, if it were just in my normal life. But with him by my side, everything seemed so much better. I rarely get the time to watch movies at home, and I really could care less about them, yet Kyle and I watched like five movies at the hotel and two in theaters, and I was excited about it all? Sounds good to me. And of course the bowling freak I am, I had to drag him bowling, along with me. I ended up bowling three times all together, and twice Kyle actually bowled with me (and once we had Corey, Justin, and Nicole as well.) I typically bowl Thursday through Monday, but instead I bowled only those three times, and horribly for myself at that, but it was fine, because I was so excited to actually have him with me for it, and I've dreamed of that so many times.
And yes, of course we did naughty things in bed, but what could you expect for too lovers? Him and I know what happened, and how much fun it was, and that's all that'll be said on that subject.
Yeah, we got mad at one another once in a while during the trip, but isn't that going to be expected between any couple? Overall we got along great, and I'm thankful for it. I can't wait for the next trip!
<3 SUMMER 2007 <3
 Triley · Wed Apr 11, 2007 @ 06:49pm · 9 Comments |
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