My dreams that were haunting me... so realistic... I can feel my neck beneath my fingers... I can feel the squeezing fingers... the loss of breath...
I awake, frightened as to what it means. I have been manipulated, used, and abused for nearly my entire life... even now, it's hard to accept my friends for that. I keep expecting them to take something, even though they have never given me reason to do so.
Will this poison my love for Apakoh? Will it destroy what we have?
I pray nightly it will not... for I love her so much, without her I would be lost...
On a side note, right before I went to bed I was sore on my left shoulder... my back... and my right breast. I wonder if I got drunk and fell... I can't remember a thing from last night.
Not even any dreams...
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A rambling of Ritanya's time
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Ritanya
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