blaugh i leave for the beach tomorrow. i feel bad for leaving me mum although because she will be there all by her lonesome. cry right now i am missing corey really badly. heart i wonder if i will ever feel so open as to let another guy into me heart. the funny thing is that when i was young the only thing i wanted out of life was to have a guy who loved me and we get married and have the perfect children and the perfect life. now the irony is i pray to god every to never let the stupidity bestow itself upon me. stare it is all so sad. i wonder what he is doing right now? i wonder if he thinks about me?
every moment of the day i think about him just because he was my true everything but as i have said countless times love is just a fakeness of the mind. anyone who loves someone for any reason si lieing love is a learned attribute, society gives it to you. love is a weakness, i can not be weak. i can control human emotions. and i won't my dead fiances "love" break this wish. i can not be weak and feel such things. i was raised to be strong, and only the strong survive. and i will survive through the rest of the tyrany of this wretched waistland.
Carbonated Chaos · Sat Apr 07, 2007 @ 05:33am · 1 Comments |