i love you.
I love you.
as long as you come this summer.
as long as you dont talk about other guys.
as long as you blow off every body everywhere else just to talk to me.
unless im busy.
unless im out being ******** stupid.
as long as my friends aren't over.
as long as nobody knows.
as long as you give up everything for me.
as long as you do what your told.
as long as you dont wear certain clothes.
as long as you dont choose certain careers.
as long as you agree with me.
oh wait.
I dont love you.
I don't love you I love my girlfriend.
But as soon as we break up You and I can go out again.
again and again. I know I can break up with you, break promises, hurt you in anyway, because I figure out no matter what i do to you You'll forgive me.
********.
I only forgive him because I want him to love me.
I want him to care about me, and think about me.
I want to be perfect in his eyes. No matter what.
In every single, small or big, way. Absolutely Perfect.
Lately.
I've been trying to listen to my friends. Maybe he does treat me like absolute poo.
I don't see how though. But everytime i don't listen to them...I pretty much got crushed. I would go months crying my eyes out. Now that I've listened to them..
I got hurt. If im with him i get hurt. If I'm not with him I get hurt. I don't want to hurt but, if thats what it takes to be happy...with him. then i'll get hurt as much as possible. I don't think he understands how much i care. But im sure its my fault we get into fights. I'm the one that starts things. I'm the one who does things.
Its all my fault. Maybe everything I do is the reason he won't tell me anything. I'm not stupid. Its easy to figure out things without him telling me but I want him to tell me anyways. I want him to trust me. I wouldn't cheat on him with any guy in the world. No matter what. I always think about him and it drives me crazy. I try to fit into his busy life by staying up til 12 just to maybe get to talk to him. That's okay i guess. I dont mind. I know my mom yells at me in the morning for over sleeping but atleast i get to talk to him. He broke up with me though. heh.. Sometimes I just want to say "So.. What's her name?" It's almost instinct that he dumped me for another girl. I should learn not to go out with him anymore but im not that strong. There's only a sometimes part of my mind that tells me "you can't be with him anymore" Maybe It's the right thing to do but I just want to be with him. Always. Forever.
Chelsea.
You can't. From now on, you can't. You can't trust him. All he ever does is hurts you. All you ever do is forgive him. Learn. Get strong. Head strong, okay? Tell yourself, everyday!, that you can't be with him. I know you want to, because obviously I am you? But.. Be happy for him. Be happy around him. Maybe he'll want you back later but he needs to know you can't be like this always. ********. YOUR A STUPID SLUT CHELSEA!! ITS ALL YOUR FAULT!! THE STUPID MISTAKES YOU MAKE. CRYING SO MUCH YOU CANT FEEL THE TEARS GOING DOWN YOUR ******** FACE. YOUR SO ******** WORTHLESS. ********!! KILL YOURSELF, ALREADY!!!
