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o.o; I have so many issues. I want to find someone to love and be with that person alone, but the way I actually act is different. I find myself interested in multiple girls at one time, (point of fact, every girl I friggin' see..) and the desperate sick twisted part of it is, that I actually do have forms of love for all of them.. I find myself unable to differentiate between the "levels" of love that exist, as "seperate". This causes me to think, feel, act, like every girl I feel even the slightest affection for, is who I should love. Of course through my years of effort I've figured out how to keep myself from acting upon these motivations at any given time, but I am getting so fed up with people coming to ME to complain about how they're so alone, when they've actually held relationships in which they are actually *with* the person. Me? I've learned all my lessons about love and dating by talking to girls online, and where truthfully has THAT.. gotten me?

"I'm so alone, I'll never find love..." Idiot... you just got out of a relationship where you shared love with someone. You have already found love, you just don't get to share it any longer, with that same person! Try being someone who no one cares about, or in truth, who some girls do care about, but they're all tied to someone already and you have truthfully, no options... none at all... because even those who are interested in you live 100 + miles away...

Try being the type of person you can't even get a girl in your dreams, quite ******** literally. I have a dream about a girl I'm going to get with, and she runs off somewhere else for a while and when I see her 15 minutes later, she's with another guy. And this is IN MY DREAMS!! I can't even... -_- type anymore...

edit: back... I've been looking up terms from my dream last night and I think the dream is representative of the fact that I really want to ... hold a girl.. in my arms.. and never have to let go until we decide to just go do something together...

Sometimes it's like this, I want nothing more out of this life than to be able to hold a girl in my arms... seriously I don't even care about sex or whatever, I just want to hold and be held! X_X;;

It's representative because of the fact that I just realized based on this from dreammoods.com

Touching
To dream that you are touching someone or something, indicates that you are trying to communicate your feelings and your need for contact. You may also be trying to evaluate a situation or gather information about our surroundings.

This made me realize that I never actually am touched by a girl in my dreams which means, maybe I'm afraid. Afraid to be touched by a girl, because her touch might.. go away. So I've stayed single, and run away from any thing that looked it could be romantic, and trashed relationships even online by cheating with other online people... This distance I feel...

... I'm the one making it...