Sickness...death...inevitibilities of life...I know...But when they strike so close to your heart it makes you feel helpless and vulnerable. My grandfather has been ill for a long time...not really ill, but he's got heart issues, and thus he's been into and out of the hospital a lot. I feel as though I have taken him for granted so long that I know he'll be around no matter what...and with this feeling now...I feel lost.
Some terrible things happened to me and my family when we were young, and my Grandfather saved us all, he held us together when times were bleek. Now the man who was more like a father to me than a grandfather is doing terribly. I went to see him yesterday and he said he was okay, but i could tell differently. I lived with him for two years while my family got their acts together and I saw a different side of him than everyone else usually saw.
He cried tonight, and I nearly died. I never EVER have seen him cry before. My heart was ripped from my chest and shown before me. If I could I would give him mine so that he could live...I love him so so much. What do you say when one of the people you love most in the world fall from their grace? All I know is, at least I have an outlet to express my feelings rather than keeping them bottled up.
I plan to see him again tomorrow...I hope that he hangs in there.
~Nookie.
Nanook123 · Fri Mar 04, 2005 @ 02:43am · 3 Comments |