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I post when I need to remember something or just feel like it.
A Devorce, I snap, and the Return of My Best Friend.
My parants are getting a devorce. About a week ago. I went to something deciding which parent I'm going to. My mother wanted to take me but because of her suicide attempts they told her she can't. Father looked way too happy. He's scaring me with that look... The look he gave me when he said. "I love you but not as a daughter." I think I like him better before he figure out I wasn't his daughter. I try telling mother what he did to me a few years ago. She just say, "You're just saying that so you can come with me. You don't have to tell lies. I'll find a way to get you." She didn't believe me... I told her I know that he isn't really my father. She just started crying... She keeps saying she's sorry over and over again until she left the room. I don't want to go back to him. Who knows what he will do this time...

Last week a day after the meeting on what parent I'll be stuck with I guess I kinda snap. I trashed my room up. I slam my hands on the wall multiple times. I tried to calm myself down by biteing myself. I end up cutting myself extreamly close to the risk. A guy (Teacher maybe) came about 30 minutes after I started to see what's going on. When he open the door he said I've been slaming the wall over and over again and he had no choice but to grab me and hold me down and call 911. I woke up the next day in the hospital and was sent back to the school on Friday night. I really can't remember anything I did. All I know and just wrote is what I was told I did. There is still a bite mark on my arm. It might not go away for a couple more weeks.

My best friend Cat (short for Catarina) move back and is at my school again (Since the 3rd of February.) She told me she try to keep in contact with me. She says she was calling my father's house when I was over my uncle's. That just seem stupid of me to forget to tell her that I'm not there. We are roommates again at our high school. I told her my problem. She just said to me, "I know you can live with me. It will be like the straight weeks you spent the night at my house but longer or forever." She hug me after saying that. Than I ask her how are we going to do that? Don't we need a job to live by ourselves? She just laugh for a bit. "I'll have enough money." She said. "One that gives me $400-$1000 per client." Per client? What did she mean by this? So I ask her what did she do for that money. She made a wierd grin and pulled out some CDs out from her suitcase. We put them on the computer. What she did for the money.... Lets just say since she is 17 and still illegal she was paid... By older people.... So she's some kind of prostitute? I couldn't let her do that to herself... But she insisted... Yesterday she ask if I wanted to come with her to see a client. Just to video tape it... I was worried about her I told her not to go. But she just insist. So I went with her to tape it. She told the person that I would take no part in it and just will be taping it... I don't want her to do that to herself.... So when we got back I had a long talk with her. It ends up that unless I get a job she'll keep doing that to support us. Since her grades are a D avarage and mine are a A avarage.






User Comments: [1] [add]
Djxyz0
Community Member
avatar
commentCommented on: Sat Mar 03, 2007 @ 04:50am
i feel really bad that you had to to experience all this sad
it seems you have had an extreme life with lot's of bad things
and i agree that you should convince your friend to stop doing that
even though she needs money
she shouldn't sell her body away like that


i really hate stuff like this that happens
so i try to help out
im sorry that i can't help you more out


User Comments: [1] [add]
 
 
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