It's probably as dangerous a thing for me do to as my father or any of my uncles. Added that I'm no good at writing; mother didn't get to teach me much. I think father would have been more pleased if grandfather had been the one to teach me anyway.
I would be called a liar if I said that I didn't enjoy the days of peace and quiet; given to tend my vineyard and forge and create as I see fit. But the forge feels a little empty, as if the fire there has banked without cause; and the day under the sun feels lonely without another pair of hands that were there before.
I have been horribly selfish.
I'm amazed that Teleporno would deign to speak to me at all given the circumstances concerning Artanis. He has known, even from the beginning how great my love has been and always will be for her. To him, I must be as vile as Morgoth. I took from him his Galadriel. I feel ashamed for it.
But not enough to let her go. Instead I hold her dearer inside my heart, and my fëa rejoices upon the sight of her. And even when she's not there, I know that she is somewhere, and when she wills it she will return. She's always been willful.
I think that she is not yet ready to be done with her exile, and I will wait. I can afford the patience to wait for her, because I'm not quite as desperate as I once was. I'm still a fool, and for her I'd be a fool until the ending of the world.
My uncles are distracting as ever, and grandfather too. I cannot say that I dislike their company, because I have ever been fond of it. But the days are long in Valinor; too long to be spent alone.
I think I will see the dwarf that Artanis mentioned has come with Thranduil's son; he will not be Narvi, but it will bring me joy to see one of their kind again. And perhaps we may make yet another door, even better than the one I left one the West Gate in Khazad-dum.
Celebrimbor · Tue Jan 30, 2007 @ 02:37am · 0 Comments |