These are real instructions to products
On Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (But I'm so busy I have no other time!)
On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. (How else can I use it. *Gets ideas*)
On some frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost. (But that's just a suggestion.)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box) Do not turn upside down. (too late!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating. (Really? How odd.)
On a children's cough medicine: Do not operate heavy machinery after usng this. (We'd have less accidents if we just kept those damn kids from operating the bulldozers.)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body. (But wouldn't that save more time?)
On Nytol sleep aid: Warning: may cause drowsiness. (One would hope!)
On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning: keep out of children. (hmm...)
On a string of Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only. (I guess they cannot be used in space travel.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts: Warning: contains nuts. (but no peas?)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. (somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)
On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands. (Raise your hand if youv'e tried this.)
On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly. (You just destroyed my dreams)
XXaquacadetXX · Wed Feb 23, 2005 @ 02:09am · 0 Comments |