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Things that happen in my life
This is dedicated to important events that are happening in my life and what I believe is important
Reincarnation
Vanin, Alicia

I had many chances but all my lives were ruined…left with one eye, a dead family, and an ancient stalker who followed my restlessly throughout the night, and whispered evil things to me in the day; I didn’t know what to do. So I used his only option left…suicide. I am everything you used to stand for. Before, that is, you sold your soul to the devil for a quick buck. I was the pure butterfly tainted black. Now I am just several dead bodies among the millions forgotten. This is my story…
I was fifteen when it all began, young, foolish, Halloween night was just another party to me, another time to get wasted. It was no surprise that I lived in the suburbs. You know what I mean, nice house, nice parents, and a nice yard. That is until I dosed the lawn with gasoline and lit it on fire, but it wasn’t my fault. Oh no! He told me to do it. He was the one that came to me when I was at my rich boyfriends’ party and planted that first seeds of destruction. Addicting, that is what his eyes were. His Beautiful Soulless eyes allowed you to let go from reality for a little while. He had led me outside and down the street by my hand all the while whispering reassuring words in my ear.

You are safe…with me…

I will allow you…to let go of reality…

Come, escape this illusion…

Everything was fuzzy in my memory after that. All I can remember is fragments of the unimportant things, like just how dark the night was on the outskirts of town. Never had I seen such darkness, even the stars seemed like dying embers. He led me off the road into the woods even though I had been still wearing my emo bunny outfit. The trees were nothing but black silhouettes against the blacker foreground, and then suddenly a blinding light flashed before my eyes, he had let go of my hand, and I fell upon the sodden ground gasping for air that I would never find. Once again my memory was fading. But there! His silhouette kneeled down in front of me. He asked me if I wanted to die, and in my weakened state all I was able to gasp out was a reedy no before the suffocating blackness forced me to lose what little consciousness I had obtained.
Scarlet, that is all I can remember when I awakened. That and that the whole right side of my face had felt like someone had taken a chainsaw to it. I opened my eyes and was surprised to see a whitish roof splattered with red. But was even more startling was that the entire right side of my vision was filled with a blackening void. Panicked I had strained to sit up but only accomplished in receiving a massive headache. I could hear a strange creaking sound, a small click, then the sound of what I assumed to be heavy footsteps drawing closer. His face entered my vision and I remember not being able to help but scream in horror. His entire skull looked burnt, withered, and the only thing that proved he was alive was the bulging veins that raged in jagged lines across his head. He had just chuckled, and patted my hair gently, and his words rang throughout my mind.
…no…need to… worry child…
…I shall not harm you anymore…
…what’s yours is mine…
…and what’s mine shall help you escape…
I should have begged, should have struggled against his twisted plans, yet, I was oddly curious. Curious if this monstrosity could truly help me escape the confines of the false reality I had been living in. I was young and foolish indeed. He had ranted on and on, about what I am not sure anymore. He stood, smiled, and grabbed my hand; hauling me up and off the bed I hadn’t known I had been lying on. Then with two unexpectedly unsteady feet on the mahogany floor I had looked down at my attire. A silver hued nightgown that was stained red with what I once again assumed blood. He led away from the splattered ceiling room and down what seemed to be hundreds of dark, dank, hallways, until finally we arrived on the outer side of his mansion. He turned me to him with one of his gnarled hands and spoke riddles of perfect sense if one would just listen.
…the child…with eyes that mimic the ocean…
…and blood that shares your own…she is an aggravation…
…find her…kill her…or you yourself shall perish…
Another blinding light and the hand on my forearm vanished, and I fell into a conscious blackness. A jerked feeling in the nape of my neck and I had opened my eyes. I was back at my boyfriend’s party exactly where I was before he came. It was as if nothing happened. The night wore on and my mind began blur. Do you remember how I said everything was fragmented? One minute I was talking to my friends and the next I was at my own house standing over my younger sister in one of the rooms. All I remember is her wide blue eyes staring at me before I allowed my knife wielding hand to crash down upon her. Once again he was there, standing behind her now perforated body.
…good girl…
All I can remember is another blinding flash of light. We were once again in what I had assumed could only be his mansion. Yet again all I was able to see was the left side of my vision. Silver nightgown, splattered roof, I didn’t understand what was going on. He spoke of terrible things that night and I began to wish that I would never understand. If only wishes came true on Halloween. That night was one of complete terror for me, it was as if he was the Ventriloquist and I was nothing but the puppet. He ordered me to do many things that seemed to go nowhere. Light the lawn on fire, smash the town statue, murder my parents…nothing seemed to satisfy him. He continued to jerk me back and forth between what, now that I look back, could only be two different timeframes; even though time seemed to stand still. Finally, after he forced me to commit the most horrendous of accusations, to forfeit my own life, it came to an end. Now, I tell this story from a new body, in a new world. Every Halloween night the story repeats itself, and there is no end to my suffering. But now I have forgotten what my previous lives were, and I am now like a man who was born with a pound of brick on his back. I do not know I can stand straighter. I only know how to follow my ventriloquist’s orders…





playful-pet-kitten
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  • 11/05/06 to 10/29/06 (3)
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