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My Chaotic Mind
New Begininnings (revised 1)
Foreword: I've made some well needed adjustments with the characters emotions and what not, and well it's alot better in my opinion. *Begs* please. please, please comment. I don't know if you liked it found it crappy or what just please comment


(Cobalts pov)

My friends family was hosting a fighting tournement. Yuki was really excited, her mom finally agreed to allow her to enter. I was worried about the little snow child, she could get critically injured and no one could rescue her. But she looked very beautiful. She had gotten more mature that I would have thought. She had on low rise black jeans with splits at the ankles, a red spaghetti strapped shirt that rested right above her navel. Two leather fighting gloves to protect her fragile hands from the blades she usuallly handled. She refused to ever wear shoes. She was smiling for the first time in seven years. She was talking with a few of her friends.
"Yuki-chan what weapons are you going to use?"
She said, my mini-katanas of course. I'm best at clost combat.
A younger child said, try not to get hurt too bad princess
She sighed.
"people do worry about you Yuki, and i saw your first fight with Ax, and it wasn't pretty."
She said, and what are the odds of me and Ax havign to fight agian.
I said, more than you know.
She said, go home Cobalt.
By the tone of her vioce she sounded teary. I walked up behind her.
"no, cause your mom invited me."
She growled.
"Cobalt I invited you to support Yuki, not make her cry."
Yuki walked away, two of her friends followed her.
"Cobalt I know you wanted to protect Yuki, but she doesn't want you to."
I sat down.
"the real reason I came was to make sure what happened to Hita, wont happen to little Yuki."
I had to fight back the tears that wanted out cause of the tought of her dying the same way Hita did.
"Cobalt?"
Yuki's sweet vice echoed thought he room.
"come here, little snow child."
She walked over, afraid to make eye contact with me.
"sit."
With alittle help from her mother, knocking her legs from under her, she sat down. Still not makin eye contact with me.
"The only reason I agreed to come was to make sure you didn't die the same painful way that Hita did."
I put my hand over my eyes, the one thing I faeard most was looking like a weakling infront of Yuki.
"Cobalt, I know. She was my sister, but she died."
She choked back tears.
" The first fights are on the annervirsary of Hita's death."
Yuki moved my hand and wiped the tears away. She was trying her hardest to be strong.
"I'll do the best I can, it's all I can do."
Out of no where Yuki hugged me silently crying. I held her as close as i possibly could without hurting her.
"Princess, Oh please excuse me."
She piered up over my Sholder, I losened my grip and felt my face grow red when i realized my hands were on Yuki's bare back.
"Yes, Laryn."
She said, we really need you out here.
I let go of Yuki, She got up and walked outside. I followed her for moral support.
"Cobalt, I can barely hear myself think, make them hush."
I whistled.
"Shut your moths and let the princess speak."
Amazingly they quieted down. Yuki cleared her throat.
"Welcome to the first annual fighting competition in seven years. The first fight is planned for two days from now me against Ax and then Dag."

tada cliffhangers ^.^ ya know ya love me


XxSilent-Light_KitsunexX
Community Member
  • [10/11/06 03:35am]
  • [10/09/06 05:30pm]
  • [10/08/06 07:56pm]
  • [10/08/06 02:29am]
  • [10/07/06 10:12pm]
  • [10/02/06 05:17pm]
  • [09/28/06 05:24pm]
  • [09/21/06 05:04pm]
  • [09/20/06 05:44pm]
  • [09/19/06 08:53pm]


  • User Comments: [5]
    Shines like a new penny once you spiff it up. It looks all clean and nice now. A couple of spellings here and there, but I can understand that when you're typin' fast.

    Still, keep it up! Revising is delicious!

    ~ heart


    comment Midnyte WoIf · Community Member · Tue Oct 10, 2006 @ 02:31am
    gonk AHHHHH thoes damn cliff hangers i had them so damn bad. the sotry is great now that yea re did it i love it better then before

    comment ami1705 · Community Member · Tue Oct 10, 2006 @ 03:03am
    Honestly, I think it is a great story.
    You are pretty good.
    Yep.


    comment xRainbowWastex · Community Member · Tue Oct 10, 2006 @ 03:47am
    not that bad pretty good i have a creative mind too but i tend to severely over exagerate things

    comment ta-kune · Community Member · Tue Oct 10, 2006 @ 05:49am
    wow very nice

    comment christianKH2 · Community Member · Mon Oct 16, 2006 @ 12:25am
    User Comments: [5]

     
     
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