Sooo, yeah...I had an important doctor's appointment today at 4:30 PM and I MISSED it. Why? I left class early to give myself plenty of time to get to the appointment but traffic leaving the area wasn't like it was coming in. I sat in traffic for over an hour because it was one lane for most of the main road...which caused me to miss this appointment.
I'm extremely upset because this was an important appointment that I really couldn't afford to miss and ended up missing anyway. Why, you ask? Well, see, I've been on/off sick for a while now, right?
I had a bad cold one week...then was feeling better the next week...then the week after that my cold came BACK and WORSE where I was coughing up phlegm. Went to the doctor's and found out I had pneumonia which is why I wasn't getting better. Then, I had to take antibiotics for another week and try to recover from being sick after that. Well, shortly after that I caught a stomach virus while I was still very weak and that kept me pretty screwed up.
So, I haven't really been sick in like...a couple of weeks now...but I'm still recovering. I'm extremely weak, tired, you name it...for most of my days. Which leaves work to be a problem for me. I go and try to carry out a shift only to find that I physically can't handle it.
I'm drained both physically and emotionally right now and it's really taking a toll on my wellbeing and my freakin' job. I had a conference call from my bosses the other day pretty much giving me an ultimatum where I either get a medical leave of absense from my doctor or I just...come to work ALL THE TIME. This is a REALLY hard thing because my doctor might think I don't need a leave of absense which leaves me pushing myself at work which will probably only make my condition worse. It's just...I've been like this for so long now that it's hurting the company (Pfft) and they need to take steps toward fixing the problem since I AM a full time employee. They don't want to push me back to part time and they don't want to fire me. Because not only do I need the money, but they need ME pretty damn bad...and this is the only job I have right now. My only source of income which is to aid me in my financial situation (Which translates to: I NEED this money because I'm in debt right now and have to pay things off as soon as I can.)
I just...don't know what I'm supposed to do. I've been trying as hard as I can. Anyone at my job can tell you that I haven't been myself. I don't know what to do about it. I think it's because I've never really been given the time to properly recover, ya know? I've been pushing to try to get back to a regular schedule before I've been ready for it...which makes me wonder if that's why I'm so run down? All I know is...things are very stressful, very frustrating...and there's not a damn thing I can really do about it. On top of all this stress I have EMOTIONAL stressed that's been going on, for example: Financial trouble College/Work - Balancing the two Suicidal friend Uncle in the hospital Aunt getting a divorce Low Self-esteem friend that comes to me for EVERY problem she has Father demanding things that take up all of my free time even after a full day of work
...and s**t like that.
I don't know how much more I can take but really, I'm just very, very worried about my job. I can't afford to have anything happen with my current status but...we'll see what happens. We'll see...
Ms. Tilty · Thu Oct 05, 2006 @ 10:44pm · 3 Comments |