I sit down, and wait. Hoping for my day to come. Hoping for the best... Broken in heart, I have nothing left but faith. I close my eyes and wonder, what will be? My whole life I have been alone. Neither my parents or those around me, seem to realize it. One thing is to be alone and another is to feel alone. I lay on my bed looking out my window, within the house I often call a prison, I want to leave but I have nowhere to go. Slowly I feel my heart wrench painfully. Life can be so cruel at times. I need someone I can count on through thick and thin, and won't mind waiting for me. Since this house will continue to be my prison for couple of more years. I wonder what it is like to feel loved, I rarely do. It's been years since I have heard a single "I love you" in my house, my love was the only one to say it. I was startled when he said it. It almost made me cry. Those sweet words... I thought I would never hear...
I wonder if we will ever be able to be toghther someday, openly. He is my saviour, but I don't know what could happen to that. But for now I have no choice but to sit and wait. Drowning in my doubts like I always have been. I watch the world move on without me. I wonder what it would be like just to be able to move along with it. For me everyday blends toghther. Nothing ever changes... I try to make it change craving more that what I know. But fate seemed to have other plans for me. The closeset to the world I can get is through this computer I write on. I sit infront off this imaginary world... Trying to forget everything around me. I wonder wether things will ever change, and wether he will truly come for me one day. Sometimes I feel him as though he is becoming distant with me. As though he is avoiding me... He wouldn't be the first though, I have had many people abandon me, or ditch me before. I wonder if my life will improve... I wonder when I can begin to truly live...
