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Brodie Asturias
Community Member
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What happened today...
This morning my camp mates and fellow inner sanctum members were being the useless layabouts they usually are and not doing anything worth while. I have found it very hard to restrain myself from killing them now, it is oh so tempting, rather than waiting for them to find the prayer circle to sacrifice them to my cause.

I decided that to cool down I needed to go for a walk. After checking all my Warnings to make sure no one had vandalized them, I headed into town. And lo, there I found a group of religious fanatics just begging for a fight with me.

I'm sad to say I obliged them and they shall never annoy anyone again. Actually, no, someone is bound to find them very troublesome. Ash is very hard to brush out of clothing and hair, I have found, and blood stains terribly. Nevermind though. I'm not going to go into detail about how I killed them, you don't really want to know all the gruesome bits do you? I thought not.

Then I sat on a fence and smoked about four cigarettes and a joint, enough to make my throat feel all itchy and want my inhaler, but oh well. Some people would have, perhaps, been curious as to why an asthmatic boy with heart problems would take up smoking in the first place. A few of the passers by were a bit concerned by the hoarse, wracking coughs that I had ever once and a while. Poor buggers, they shouldn't feel sorry for me. I'm going to kill them all when I become a god. I can't have useless leeches sucking on my world's valuable resources, can I? You didn't want to know that either? Oh well.

Very well, I'll tell you about the cat I set on fire to listen to it yowl -- you don't want to hear about that? You're a very boring person you know, but whatever. I don't care. Alright, after I killed the cat I sat down and smoked some more. I get the feeling that once I'm a god it would be a bad influence to smoke in front of my subjects, so I'd better get it all done now. Then I shot some doves at the fountain at the center of town with my slingshot. It was hilarious. They couldn't work out what was hitting them.

Some of the people who had walked by earlier and been worried about me called me a horrid little boy, as though I'm not fourteen and haven't lived one thousand times over. Geez. People these days.

Reflecting on it, I realise that I don't actually look all that old, I could easily be mistaken for eight. But you already know that.

After I shot the birds, I took some food from one of the nearby shops and ate it because I was getting hungry. Of course, like most food, it upset my stomach and I threw it up into a bush a few minutes later. I won't say I stole it, nor will I say that I paid for it. The shop owner knew I was taking it, you know. It looked fairly unpleasant once I'd thrown it up, so I decided not to have another go at it and strolled back to the camp to throw rocks at my camp mates to punish them for not doing anything productive.

And that is what happened today...





User Comments: [1]
Zarqawi
Community Member
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comment Commented on: Sat Sep 09, 2006 @ 12:47am
Well this is the happiest thing i ever read(ecxept for every other word or words in existence)


User Comments: [1]
 
 
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