Mood: Miserable
Song: Goodbye to You (Michelle Branch)


So, my best friend for the past three years is gone, and I guess it doesn’t matter. She didn’t even call me when she came back, anyway. Not until the day before she left. At least I was gifted with a few seconds on the phone with her. That was nice.

Of all the things I believe in
I just want to get it over with
tears from behind my eyes
but I do not cry
Counting the days that past me by

She was here for an entire week-and-a-half and didn’t even bother to talk to me. I didn’t even know she was here. And then suddenly she calls and says she’s leaving and I can see her one last time if I plan everything.

I've been searching deep down in my soul
Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old
Looks like I'm starting all over again
The last three years were just pretend and I say

And let’s not leave out my so-called-friend Cherry (~Cherry~Blossem~Tree, that’s right, I’m giving out names, I don’t care. It’s not like I’m giving out real names, so whatever) who just blew me off even though she heard me crying on the goddamn phone. She acts like she is SO sympathetic and cares about everyone, she even said if I ever needed her help (Since I cut myself all the time) that she would be there. But when I honestly needed her, when I needed someone to listen to me and care, she was one of the first to blow me off to go hang out with some popular girls at school who hate me.

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything that I knew
You were the one I love
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

Well, so much for me calling her to help with the cutting, since this time she pretty much caused it, her and Mari. (mari49)

It hurts to want everything & nothing at the same time
I want whats yours and I want whats mine
I want you but I'm not giving in this time

Cherry is basically ignoring what I really think, anyway. It’s fine to talk about being my friend, but when it really comes down to it, I’ll watch her back, while she’ll stab mine. It’s been like that forever, but I thought she had changed. Then again, I thought that Mari actually enjoyed being my friend, too, and that was WAY off.

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything that I knew
you were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

Well, bye Mari. I hope you find friends you actually like wherever you are off too. I mean, you did say that you had friends there, and I hope they are nice to you and won’t just be some annoyance or a chore like I was.

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything that I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

I really did say I loved you, right? Not in some creepy way. I say it to everyone I consider my friend. I say it to Cherry, and Tek, and Seme (Even though for him it has a stronger meaning). But in the end, it doesn’t seem like I am loved back by anyone, so why bother, right? I’m too tired for any of this, and I’m certain (VERY certain) that my “friends” won’t bother to read it, unless I tell them too, which I may very well do, because I have been trying to tell them how I feel, but none of them care. I’m too tired.
Once again, bye Maria.

The one thing that I tried to hold on to
We the stars fall and I lie awake my shooting star