Its amazing what runs through your mind when you are barley thinking, yet you cannot do anything because you have to many thoughts... i have to many thoughts of my own life and other peoples lifes (one in particular) for my own liking. The thoughts make me sad, thinking about it makes me sad, trying to stop thinking about it makes me frustrated, not being able to stop thinking makes me mad, so I think about why I am mad, and the whole thing starts over in one bizarre circle of self hate and anger (mainly perceived in my mind as anger) from other for asking questions to better understand what is happening. Trying to figure out even what you are thinking... then not being able to ask questions because you are scared to for some reason. A reason you do not know why and the more you think about it the more you hate yourself for not knowing why you cannot think of it. Not being able to get in your own head and getting mad and frustrated about it. My day was bad... and then I asked questions and made someone mad... after a conversation I had, now asking questions makes me uneasy. And then making them mad for asking questions does not help me. I have to many problems and no real way of saying what they are. xoxox Chelle
violet_raven · Tue Aug 08, 2006 @ 10:54am · 1 Comments |