Bad Habit
By Riomi

Throughout the evening she taunted him and fed him lies. Wanted to see him weak and desperate but he never gave her a taste.

"I'm leaving you," she would say.

"Okay," he would reply with a shrug his eyes never looking at her. She hated him for that. Is that how it was? Was she worth a mere shrug and not even a glance?

She fed him reasons after that, told him how she couldn't take it anymore. He never showed her how much he cared for her and she was always left to just accept that he did and not expect anything at all. But that was never enough for her. Everyday she'd wait for his return only to smother him with kisses and crush him hugs, cling to him as if he would disappear with a passing breeze. She would miss him but he would brush her off and act as if he was bothered. Soon she began to ask herself why exactly did she missed him. His mere presence would make her tense and sadden her heart. Why look forward to that?

Thus brought the day that she spilled those troubled lies of leaving him. His response left her shattered and wonderous. Why was she here? Was he wasting her time? Looking back she couldn't answer. Either the truth was too painful or she just ignored it.

That same night she wept and his soft snores rung loud in her dreams as she drifted to sleep. In her sleep she felt hunger, a pit of emptiness filled her being. Wasn't she supposed to feel whole? Wasn't he supposed to fill that void and keep her overflowing? She was longing for his touch, his tenderness, his kisses... his love. But he left her barren. Empty.

Early the next morning she woke to a wet pillow and his daunting snores.

She stared at his face, illuminated in the dim light that creeped into their room from the outside. She wanted to kiss it and slap it at once. She shook him awake.

"What?" he grunted, groggy and puzzled. She merely stared. Tears streamed from her eyes as she tried to find the words, any words to condemn him and beg his forgiveness at once.

Nothing came and he sighed and rolled back over to return to his sleep.

Then they came.

"What I want is simple and it means alot to me. Is it so much to make me happy? To give me a kiss, a hug, a glance? That's all I ask. We sleep in the same bed and no matter what side you're on you turn away from me. You avoid my touches and ignore my pleas. Countless times I've told you what I wanted, needed and you've given me empty promises to try. Did you think mere words would appease me. Is it that you just want me to shut up and ignore my hunger for you? You can easily quench it. It's within your reach but you blatantly ignore it. Why?" The words came out in a wail and her fists were clenched. She stared in her lap unable to look him in the eye with fear of finding no reaction at all.

He had turned back to stare at her, she knew. She could feel his eyes on her.

"It's not like me to do that kind of stuff, you know that."

Her eyes widened and fury set in to fill that deep void. She glared at him.

"It's not like you to make me happy? Is that it? What I ask for isn't alot and why is it such a trial for you to even try to change a little? How many things have you made me alter about myself to keep you happy? I listen to you and try my best to make things work, but where is the reciprocation? I'm not asking for all your riches," she snickered at herself, "all I want is you and to know that I have you or at least that cold thing in your chest that keeps you alive." Before she knew it her body was wracking with sobs once more. She turned to her side and prayed for sleep to steal her away again.

It never came, the never ending rush of her tears greeted her. He body shook the bed as she gulped desperately for air and wailed like a child. It shouldn't have hurt so much but it did. Minutes turned to hours and time soon faded away when she finally realised his arms around her and his lips kissing away her tears. They never slowed as his hands found the soft curls atop her head. He brushed her short hair with his fingers and she wailed louder until she found herself melting into his arms.

She had done it again. She had forgiven him.

He didn't even have to say a word and she was his again.