im hyper aware of the bog of eternal stench, cloudy with a chance of meatballs jello castle my body is. it wasnt always like this. i wasnt always like this. why cant i just pull myself out of depression's a**? it's been at least 8 years of mdd. have i ******** learned nothing???

im not good at anything else. im not good at anything, according to these people. please help me. i am suffering. i want to perform. i havent had a good performance in nearly 4 years now. please. please give me the platform to perform. i am so confused. i am so, so confused. i thought people were going to be accepting of me. im nice and open-minded and cooperative and helpful and god ******** damnit, im ******** talented even though it pains me to say so. ive been humble up until now. it has to be my physical appearance, in which case, i say reincarnation is a viable option now. i dont wish to carry on when i know this body isnt ever going to be good enough.

holy ******** s**t, dude. holy ******** s**t.