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Unable to find peace in my slumber


I went to his room... confiding bittersweet memories
How long has it been? The mother of my father
in a way, It was like I was adopted
and blamed for all of the women that wronged him

Yet... where did I find joy in my short dream?
A small bag of sweets, and a warm smile.
but the voices of discord, echoing up the stairs
a cruel reminder that life is not the same anymore
This is not my home, where can I find peace, if not home?

When I was abandoned, why did you pick me up?
Why do you say that I am strong, when I fall apart each day?
I'm on my last legs, sunshine kisses are a thing of the past
No window, a false door, smallest room, no concept of the day
Yet this all seems like too much for someone like me

There is no hunger, for one who clings to the ghosts' hands
no desire, to call on the faces of strangers in a box
How can anyone like such a disgusting creature
That can only cry with a smile, or laugh in tears
There is no such beauty to be found here
it's just a rock, a rock that takes the shape of its holders' imagination

But it's boring all the same, why waste the time?
just throw it back into the stream, nature doesn't judge
the color of skin, species, goals, lack there of
All is bound to one law, life to dust, beginning to end
this is my peace, neither my friend nor enemy

One day, it will take me, and my tears will cease
No more worries, no more pity
When time takes it's course, will you be there?
Will you hold my hand for my final dream?
Am I to hold yours, only to bury our memories alone?

This is all too cruel, a sick joke, how is this funny?
What is there to laugh at? I must cry in silence.
I am no martyr, nor righteous knight....
Even the fool, my only friend, my equal, though I am not
I know too much, this magic, trapped in my mind
A fantasy to live, be born from these hands